Having chosen to swallow the red pill...

More on exercise, timed perfectly to fit into your coffee break

2006-09-06T22:31:00.000+02:00

The Rule of Three

The Rule of Three, it takes 3 weeks to form a pattern and 3 months to see the proper results. Your body takes a while to adjust , both physically and psychologically to a new exercise pattern. A lot of times it is easy to start of too enthusiastically and then you end up doubled over with soreness and stiffness the following day and it takes double the motivation to get things going again after that.

30 minutes, 3 times a week is a great place to start. Keep it regular, week in, week out and start easy. 30 minutes, 3 times a week is only 1 1/2 hours a week and that goal is manageable for everyone. The secret is to keep it ticking over, 3 times 30 minutes per week.

You choose your days to fit in with your own schedule and the beauty of the 7 day week is that you alsways have a rest day between each training day and you also have a flexi-day which enables you to fit your exercise around you. If you were meant to exercise on Wednesday night but want to meet friends instead, simply shift Wednesday's exercise to Thursday and Friday's exercise to Saturday and you still make your 3 x 30.

Sticking to the 3 x 30 and taking it easy in the beginning and breaking that 3 week barrier, after that, some important changes happen. Suddenly you find that you don't need that inner drill sergeant driving you out to run. You want to go out yourself, in fact you have been looking forward to it all day. During the afternoon you have been shaking out your legs in preparation and once you are home from work, you pull on your jogging clothes and you are buzzing and full of energy. Of course, not all days are like that, there are the bad days too, when you are not motivated, everything aches and you are out of breath within 100m. It doesn't matter, do the exercise anyway, just slacken the pace. You'll always feel better afterwards.

Once you have made it through the first 3 weeks, you work through your bad days and you enjoy your good ones and you will hopefully cross an important line. Here you don't loose sight of your goals as such but you move on to a more profound understanding of your exercise where you realise that the journey is the goal.

It is easy to become disheartened when all that effort you are putting in doesn't seem to result in tangible goals. Here is when the final part of the rule of 3 comes in. It usually takes 3 months before the results of your hard work really shows through, even though the internal benefits begin almost immediately. Just doing the work, 3 x 30, week in, week out, will bring results. Guaranteed!

Reducing my footprint

2006-09-05T22:19:00.000+02:00

This weeks addition to reducing my footprint is the installation of a compost bin in our garden. Now we can recycle all of our household 'green' waste without just throwing it away, which reduces transportation emisions as it is a lighter load for the bin lorry to carry. It also means that our green waste and general garden waste completes the circle and next spring goes back on the garden, providing essential nutrients and making healthier soil for both our plant life and our vegetable growing.. In addition to that, the garden bin what we have rented from the council up until now can go back, saving us money and meaning that the council has one less bin to pick-up, one less trip to make, one less set of waste to process.

Ok, a bit overboard maybe, but the thing is that you have got to believe that every little bit counts; I was talking to my Grandad when I was in UK the other day and he asked me how many plastic bags I thought were consumed in England each year. I had no idea, but the answer was 1,8 billion, all of which end-up on landfill sites. Now, back to 'every bit counts' if everyone re-used those plastic bags just once, took them with them to the supermarket and used them again, then that small and simple act would reduce consumption to 0,9 billion.

There are no shortcuts

2006-08-21T22:55:00.000+02:00

Here is the first part of my coffee-break size snippets on exercise and I am sorry to start you off with a hard hitting one. There are no shortcuts (full stop)

Oprah Winfrey once said, "The biggest secret in life is that there is no secret - whatever your goal, you can get there if you are willing to do the work."

If you want to get the benefits, you have to be prepared to do the work, there is no way around that. There are no quick fixes and the '5 minutes and you will look like this' promises from commercial TV channels are designed to take your money and be neatly stored within your closet before the month is out.

Just take a moment to think about it, and it is logical. If you want to be a good lawyer for example, it takes time, dedication and hard work; a good gardener, chess player, painter, whatever you choose, you need to do the work in order to make progress and see the benefits. To build muscle, you need to make it work, to break it down, to let it re-build itself, to rest and then to begin over again, and again... The same with stamina, you can't go from sitting on the couch to running a marathon overnight.

To quote Lance Armstrong, the 7 times winner of the gruelling 3656 km long Tour de France, "Everybody wants to know what I am on. What am I on? I'm on my bike... 6 hours a day. That's what I am on." - and that is what it takes to be a champion and to succeed in your own exercise, whatever your goal... the willingness to simply do the work.

***************

To reduce my ecological footprint this week, I have purchased 4 heavy-weave cotton carrier bags, which have now replaced the 5-7 plastic carrier bags that we normally consume in our weekly shopping trips.

Exercise in 5 easy instalments

2006-08-13T21:38:00.000+02:00

Exercise in 5 easy instalments

Exercise is on of the many things in today’s hectic living that has been turned into a culture within itself. We are constantly bombarded by the media with how we should look, and this indoctrination begins from a very young age, with the likes of Barbie and Bratz and on the guy’s side Superman, He-Man and Batman. Millions and millions of pounds are spent each year in pursuit of this ideal, gym membership, personal trainers and nutritional supplements. Factor in training clothes, dieting and exercise equipment and you have a pretty hefty average household expenditure. We are all too easily lead to believe that the key to our personal happiness lies in six-pack abs or a tight butt, but that may not necessarily be the case.

On the one side you have the exercise industry, pushing body image with a 4 x per week heavy gym session and on the other side there is the medical establishment pushing a minimum 3 x 30 minutes per week for good health and longevity. This joint onslaught of enforced ideal body image and the health risk for non participation is responsible for an awful amount of guilt that matches people’s exercise spurts and dips and puts a negative spin on their sofa and chips, cake and donut moments.

As with a lot of things today, it is a case of reading between the lines and asking yourself a few questions in order to find out what is the right kind of exercise for you and hopefully to save you time and money. Questions such as:

• What is the purpose of you exercise?
• What do you need / want / what are you looking for?
• Why are you exercising in the first place?

When thinking through exercise myself, I have started and stopped; been longing for my next run and been completely lacking in motivation. I have joined the gym and left the gym, brought weights and let them get dusty, started some sports and dropped others. I all this time, I have learnt some home truths which I would like to share with you in 5 coffee-break size instalments, which I will publish over the coming weeks, so stay tuned…

The power of branding versus the power of personal choice

2006-07-08T21:45:00.000+02:00

There is a lot of talk these days about brands. Which are the super brands, what are the right brands to be seen in or that him or her are brand-obsessed. But at the end of the day, what is a brand? In its simplest state, a brand is a way of giving an inanimate object personality. The reason for this is to create consumer loyalty, which then has a direct impact on the company's bottom line. In its unrefined form, branding is the manipulation of consumer perception with the aim of increasing profits. In its refined form, it is a complex mixture of psychology, statistical interpretation, research, fact and fiction, and some say, science.

The psychological element examines how people choose products, what factors influence that choice, what triggers give rise to those factors and how the eventual choice is related to perceived self-image. The research and statistics gathers information on buying patterns, consumer preferences and demand shifts. The fact side of things is based around two areas, firstly the concrete facts that come from the psychological and empirical research and secondly the fact that a 'problem' exists which requires a solution. For example, dirty dishes that need washing, a hole in the wall that needs drilling, dandruff needs to be got rid of. Effectively most consumer and business-to-business products and services are sold as solutions to a problem. Effectively I don't buy a drill, I buy a solution to my need to put a hole in my wall, or I don't buy a shampoo, I buy a solution to my dandruff problem. The essence of branding is the create consumer loyalty to your company's particular solution.

... and how do you create loyalty, well, that's where the fiction comes in. Firstly it should be noted that for me there is a difference between 'fiction' as in 'the creative use of the truth' and outright lying. So take our problem of dirty dishes, we now need a solution, so along comes company A and launches their product, which are dishwashing tablets with oxygen bubbles for extra tough cleaning action. You never knew that you needed oxygen bubbles before, but suddenly now you do. This sets the benchmark with which you assess the other products. You start to see oxygen bubbles as important and you won't buy a product that doesn't have them, unless there is a massive price difference. Soon, you get into a habit of purchasing the same products and you have become 'brand loyal.'

The benefit of brand loyalty for the consumer of fast moving consumer goods is that it saves time. Because the advertising industry has created so many messages, you are constantly bombarded with information everywhere you go, on the TV, in magazines and newspapers, on the radio, on the internet, on billboards, on the bus, on the tube, on your phone. The sheer volume of these messages means that it is nearly impossible for you as a consumer to make and re-make every consumption choice each time you are in the supermarket. Imagine walking up to the washing powder and trying to remember everything you have heard about each brand, then decide between them, pick out one and place it in your trolley and then do the same with the cat foods, cereals etc... It is much easier to just pick Ariel or Surf off the shelves and move on. The manufacturers know this too and naturally this is where they make their money, having already spent a lot to fix that decision process fixed in your mind.

The thing is though, the whole process is designed to get you caught up in a cycle of consumption, 'gotta do more, gotta be more'. I saw an advert for a leading watch manufacturer the other day that was saying that one of the most important parts of your first impression and of how people judge you is 'what watch you are wearing.' Really? When is last time you judged a person by their watch or even noticed what kind of watch they had on? What watch does your partner or mother or father wear? This is what I meant earlier about the 'fiction'. Creating a want, a desire out of nothing and one which, in the final analysis, is empty.

Why have I written all of this? Well, if you have been kind enough to read this far, I will tell you. I write it for two reasons, the first being that it was my business until a year and a half ago to create the strategy behind brands. After much soul-searching I eventually came up with the conclusion that I was helping to create castles out of sand. To imbue inanimate objects with a sense of personality, so someone could buy them and feel superior to someone who could not, or so someone could by them and display them as a measurement of their achievements and success. I became haunted by the truth behind the phrase, 'he who dies with the most toys, still dies.' - In other words, I had lost my faith in branding and writing this is cathartic.

The second reason I write is inspired by a statement from the Trainspotters movie, 'choose life.' I have thought about this statement for a while and for me it has come to symbolise many things, one of which is to stop and realise how much of my life is on automatic pilot. How my choices and habits just drop neatly into place each morning and before I know it, another, irretrievable day has come and has gone. In a paradoxical brands versus un-branding, I like Microsoft's old tagline, 'where do you want to go today?' because it put the ball firmly in your court. Where do YOU want to go today? you choose and you take conscious responsibility. Branding robs us of that ability in some way, it wants us going on automatic pilot and life slips by. I am not saying don't be brand loyal, but what I am saying is 'take your power back.' Make a conscious choice each time you shop and don't just be lead like sheep. Instead of buying the same washing power you always have, ask questions instead to ensure that your purchase matches your values. Is this washing powder the most environmentally friendly? Does a percentage of my money go to charity? Are these clothes manufactured in sweat-shop conditions? Am I ok with that?

This way you take the power back and ensure that if you give your loyalty to a product or service, then it is to one that truly matches your own personal values.

Stand your ground

2006-06-28T22:49:00.000+02:00

I was just talking to my Mum today, who is currently over visiting us and she told me about an elderly lady in UK who has just been given a 3 month prison sentence for refusing to pay her council tax. The reason she has refused to pay it is that the street that she lives in has basically been turned into crack ally and not even the police dare to enter it. Because of the conditions in the street, they basically get none of the amenieties which are the right of tax payers. If the council is not willing to provide the same level of services to that street that it does to others, or indeed any services at all, then what benefit is the tax payer deriving from her contribution towards council costs? If she is deriving zero benefit because the council is not willing to provide basic services to her run-down street, then it follows logically that she shouldn't have to pay taxes. However this logical step seems to be an impossible leap for the local council to make, who seem to reason thus: If we give-up and provide no services to the people in this street, we can still collect tax of them with a good conscience. hmmmm. Obviously it is not quite as black and white as I have portrayed it and of course council taxc covers other areas than just her street services, but the principle is what is important here. Government, local and national just can't turn a blind eye to problems and expect their citizens to live with it and to pick-up the bill. Stiff upper lip may be useful for a hooker, but today civil protest is emerging as a sign that the average citizen has lost their faith in the government's ability to listen to them and to deal with matters of the people and they are taking matters into their own hands and taking a stand.

Well, this lady has made a stand and is engaging in age-old civil protest and as a result has received and is currently serving a three month prison service. The interesting flip side to this story is that the same local council has just given her a 1000 pound reward for her tireless service to the homeless. Go figure ?!?

Notes from a Dad at home

2006-06-26T12:02:00.000+02:00

Note to self: Apple doesn't go well in a fruit purée as once it has been blended, it quickly goes brown.

Yesterday I took my premiere swim in the ocean. I had hoped that the sun we have had over the past few weeks had warmed it, but it had not. It was 12 degrees and for a few seconds I forgot how to breathe! I swam around until I was suitably numb and then climbed out feeling exhilarated. I don't know if it was because of the effect of the cold water on my body and brain, or the fact that now the first ocean swim of the season is over, the water can, hopefully, only get warmer from here.

I have finally got round to re-writing the profile for this blog and you can now read the new version in the 'About Me' section in the right hand column of this page.

Can a high petrol price be a good thing?

2006-06-20T10:53:00.000+02:00

There is much speculation at the moment that the recent 'hot dialogue' with Iran and the Bush administrations refusal to rule out the possibility of military action can be linked to, dare I say it, an artificially high oil price. Whatever the reason, oil prices have been gradually increasing over the past year or two, much to the chagrin of every motorist and a great many owners of oil-heated homes. Whether or not you drive a petrol or a diesel car, heat your home from oil or via a wind turbine, the rising oil prices hits everyone's wallets as many of the bi-products of oil that we use every day, such as plastics have also gone up in price.

Whether you are convinced that the rise in oil prices is a result of global geo-political power play or whether it serves as further proof of globalisation and the multinationals ability to steer politics, I would like to look instead at the positive side of the price rise.

For the first time in a long time, American consumers are feeling the pinch and sales of SUV's has taken a negative plunge. Just last week, Hummer announced that they were ceasing production of the civilian version of the Hummer H1 due to a weak demand, and in the worst example of cross branding I have seen in a while, I noticed an advert in a magazine for Hummer after-shave, which might be an indication of where the company feels it future lies.

Every other car brought in Europe today is a diesel. Gone are the dirty exhaust spitting diesels of the past, the latest development is leading to cleaner and more efficient engines. In response to the change in consumer attitudes brought on by the rising oil prices, car manufacturers are suddenly able to produce smaller engines that produce more power. Volkswagen, for instance, recently launched the Golf GT, which develops 150hp from a 1,4l engine, where previously they had a 1,8l engine. Take Toyota's PRIUS and other hybrid cars that run on electricity and petrol and which leave a very small environmental footprint. Take the new range of cars from a variety of manufacturers including Ford, Volvo, BMW that are so-called bi-fuel cars that can run on either petrol or ethanol. Match that to the recent announcement from the Norwegian oil retailer, Statoil that it will be investing in ethanol pumps across Scandinavia. What you have got is a trend lead by consumers that is leading to a development and a direction that consumes less petrol and leaves a smaller environmental footprint.

This trend has maybe been jump-started by the high oil prices, but it is definitely there and it is definitely growing. People are starting to think strategically, or should I say, environmentally. Do I really need to make this trip? Can I cycle or take public transport instead? There has been a marked increase in car sharing and considerable interest in schemes such as Zipcars (see www.zipcar.com) in major cities where instead of owning a vehicle, people can pay to 'borrow' a vehicle as and when they need it, resulting in better planned vehicle use, less traffic congestion, less pollution, less vehicles to be scrapped...

The trend has also moved beyond the realms of transport and into the home, where the cost of oil-fired burners is causing home owners to re-think and, such as here in Sweden, the government is responding by giving tax breaks to those who purchase environmentally-friendly heating systems such as the one we have installed in our house that takes the temperature differential from the air and uses it to heat a liquid with a very low boiling point. The energy released as this liquid turns to vapour is then converted and used to heat the water that heats our house and hot water.

Each time I fill up the car and the guy or lady next to me calls over to complain about the pump price, I have started inwardly smiling to myself as that little extra cost may just have started a ball rolling that will prevent us from having far larger and more serious costs in the future.

Naked at the airport

2006-06-11T22:38:00.000+02:00

I nearly committed a civil protest the other day when I was coming back through the airport. There were armed police throughout the airport and they have increased exponentially in number the last few years. This time there were also armed police monitoring the passport queues. As you moved through from the passport desk to the customs team, there was a policeman sitting behind a laptop, monitoring the passengers as they moved on through. I don't know for certain, but I believe that he was sitting behind the scanner device that enables security teams to see through clothing. As I walked through, I thought to myself, 'well, there goes another civil liberty.'

Clearly it feels wrong for me to ask someone to remove all of their clothing in the middle of the street. It also feels wrong for me to throw my clothing aside and walk down the high-street... but now, in the name of homeland security or whatever they have dubbed it this time, it is suddenly, without even having the courtesy of informing the public, it is suddenly ok to look through our clothes. I am sure that the public weren't informed because there would have been an outcry. It seems true to form that it is best to follow a policy of least resistance. It is best to keep people in the dark and slowly erode their civil liberties than it is to shine a light on it and risk public protest and possibly having to both explain and justify your actions.

How much more are we prepared to sacrifice in the name of terrorism? Do we even know what we have given up already in the Glorious Fight Against Terrorism? Are we going to wake-up one day and find that is it too late, that we are monitored in everything we do and it is all written in the law books and there is nothing to do about it? It is a funny paradox that the price of 'freedom' is that the government can use the 'fight against terrorism' to monitor us more closely than ever before.

I am not stupid enough to write a criticism without considering the 'what if's'. What if there is another terrorist attack on English soil? What if the plane that I am flying on is hijacked and forced to fly into some strategically and nationally important building? Are we willing to take that risk? Or should we not maybe take the steps necessary to minimise the risk of such a tragedy occurring? All very valid points, but the thing that bothers me most, in a democratic country is 'do I as an individual, have a choice?'

A leave of absence

2006-06-08T08:37:00.000+02:00

I owe you all some kind of explanation. I glanced at the date I last published and noticed that there has been a three month gap! Three months of blog blackout. The reason was law. Singularly the hardest course that I have taken at university level to date. It scared me, it challenged me, it occupied my days and in a sick way I actually enjoyed it. It blew away the cobwebs and got my brain working to a level of activity where I am actually disappointed that I don't have a paper to write over summer so that I have something to chew on and an excuse to read some more books! The exam result is due out in just over 2 weeks time, so I'll let you know how I did.

During the law course, life for me changed. There are only so many hours in the day and in order to be able to spend some of them sleeping, I had to take a hard look at my life and take some tough choices. I stopped my work as a swimming instructor as I couldn't sacrifice two afternoons a week and wanted to spend my evenings with Ben. I took a break from training ju-jutsu. I was getting stressed that I couldn't keep up with my colleagues, who were able to just about live in the dojo daily, and so I just took a break. When I go back, and I am hoping to go back, I will be so far behind them that it won't matter anymore, I won't feel the pressure like I did before.

Ben changed too, he got bigger. Looking back through the photos of when he was first born, especially the first picture I have when I am holding him in my arms just after he was born, it is amazing how he has changed. Yesterday he was 8 months old to the day and now he will be crawling shortly, the house is always full of him chatting, laughing and singing, he claps and waves you good-bye when you go. He sits up straight and concentrates on little games that he is playing with his wooden blocks and rings. Even though he is still a baby, he seems very much a little boy.

It feels kind of boring really, that I can sum-up three months of absence in a few paragraphs. The astute readers amongst you will see that I have in fact just been filling white space as my time away can be summed-up in a haiku:

A three month absence
Study, snow, boy, wife, study,
White blog matches white skin.

If not me, then whom?

2006-06-05T21:13:00.000+02:00

Today, according to my diary, is World Environmental Day. That I found it there by chance and otherwise on the 'outside' have heard nothing about it, seems to me to be symptomatic of how in many spheres the environment has become a back issue and for many people, a second thought.

But today's writing is not about addressing the environment as a global debate, not about even about EU environmental policy or Swedish environmental awareness. Today is about the micro side of the environment, it is about you and me and about the choices that we make, each and every day.

When you are walking downtown and come across a discarded paper in the street, what do you do? Do you even notice it? Do you just ignore it and not give it a thought? Do you give it enough time to think that it is maybe someone else's job to pick it up, but not yours? Do you stop to pick it up and place it in the nearest dustbin?

In each of these thoughts and actions, we are making an active choice about the type of world that we want to live in and we are actively creating it. When I stop to pick-up the discarded paper and place it in a bin, I am making a choice about the type of world that I want to live in and that I want my children to live in. I ask myself the honest question, 'If not me, then whom?' If I don't pick it up, can I expect you to pick it up? If I am out with Benjamin and I walk on past it, can I expect him to pick it up? If not me, then whom?

The same is true of household recycling. Do you recycle all of the envelopes, papers and junk mail you get, all of the cans and bottles that you eat and drink out of daily, or do you just throw them away? Sure, it takes a little bit more time but what examples are we setting for the children and what kind of a world are we leaving them? What kind of world are we creating for ourselves?

The power of a grassroots movement is that the small, daily efforts of a large number of people on a mission cause a big effect. It is those little choices, the picking up of that paper, the one extra minute it takes during a day to recycle a bottle or a can. That small action, if you do it and if I do it, can really change the world. Decide what kind of world you want to live in and then go out and make it happen.

As Noreena Hertz said at a recent interview, 'Nobody can do everything but everybody can do something and together we can change the world.'

Good Government?

2006-02-02T09:03:00.000+01:00

As part of its concerted effort to bring relief to the estimated 4 million people suffering from food shortages caused by, amongst other things, poor rainfall, the Kenyan government has wisely decided to invest in yet more luxury Mercedes cars for its ministers and judiciaries. Reports show that since 2002, the Kenyan government has spent over 12 million on luxury cars, a sum which could have sent over 25,000 children to school for over 8 years.

Source: http://news.bbc.co.uk (2006-01-30)

It's easy to forget

2006-01-31T08:02:00.000+01:00

Before you read this morning's post, please follow this link by copying and pasting it into your browser:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/shared/spl/hi/picture_gallery
/06/asia_pac_two_wheels_good_in_cambodia/html/8.stm

With both UK and Sweden aiming to ease their unemployment statistics by getting up to 50% of young people into university-level education and with jobs such as window-cleaning and vacuum selling soon to be a three year degree course, it is all too easy to forget that for very, very many people, university is a far of dream or an extreme privilege.

(As for those of us on our second degree, well, I once read a quote by a lady whose name I have forgotten, but who defined luxury as 'being able to do what you want with your time'. I guess that means that I am living the life of luxury and therefore should embrace my law course not as a chore, but as more of a privilege. Hmmm, that I will have to think about!)

Filling-up the gaps

2006-01-27T07:37:00.000+01:00

I recently wrote about the Law course being the leviathan course for this degree and as such I was approaching the course with some apprehension. And indeed, within the first few days, I was already swamped with reading and seminar preparation and individual work and the prophecy started to become self-fulfilled... and then Ellie got ill, completely knocked out with a 39 degree fever and tonsillitis, and then her stomach rejected the antibiotics that she had been prescribed and more fever followed and agonising stomach cramps and then little Ben gets his first cold!

It is suddenly in a week like this that you realise how much time you can create when you are really forced to fill up the gaps, the pack action and doing tight into every corner. What with looking after Ellie, looking after Ben, taking the midnight feeds and the early morning feeds, preparing the bottles, keeping the house in order, getting the car assessed before its guarantee runs out, exercising etc... it has been a tough old week. The thing is that when Ellie and Ben get better and we can go back to sharing things, I am going to suddenly have loads of time on my hands to do law... and maybe, just maybe some time to do something besides law too!

Brrrrr

2006-01-25T16:47:00.000+01:00

Here is a picture of the Japanese lantern in my front garden. Yup it has snowed again! To think that we drove all of 250 km up North to find some snow and when we returned there was just as much in our back garden. Yesterday was -9 and today has mercifully warmed up and is only -5.

Whereas snow once meant sledging and snow-ball fights, it currently means that I slip and slide on my bicycle on the way to school (and frequently fall off!), I have to shovel it out of the path in front of my house and up to my door, as we are liable if anyone slips and it also means that the wood on our hallway floor is currently stained white with the salt I sprinkle on the steps to ensure that I can get Ben safetly to the car without slipping!

Still on the positive side, -5 helps you clear the cobwebs from your lungs and in a year's time, when Ben is slightly bigger, snow will once again mean sledging and a cup of hot chocolate with marshmallows floating in it! mmmmm

Not quite the Winter Olympics, but...

2006-01-24T12:49:00.000+01:00

We have just come back from Ben's first skiing trip. Ok, he didn't actually do any skiing, but he did go for walks in the beautiful snow-covered landscape, cleaned his lungs out with some crisp, cold air and looked quite surprised when he felt his first ever snow-flakes landing on his chin and forehead. Needless to say that his look of surprise quickly changed to one of extreme dissatisfaction and Daddy had to quickly carry him into the restaurant, where he promptly started to smile again.

We took a great long-weekend break to Hestravikens Värdshus (see http://www.hestraviken.se/default.aspx) a lovely countryside hotel. We had procured the hotel's master suites and spent the weekend feeling like royalty as we wandered about in our bathrobes from the bedroom to the living room and on into the bathroom replete with Jacuzzi. Despite these luxuries, we were disciplined and after a good breakfast we took it in turns to get some skiing in. I stood on the top of the first slope trying to remember how to ski again, and then in the middle of my fevered concentration, I accidentally turned my skis down slope and, well... I remembered quickly what I was supposed to be doing. Unfortunately as the resort was only small, the slopes that it had were by and large too advanced for me in that they are too steep, with ice on the down sections and then sudden piles of snow that caught your skis and made turning difficult. Naturally I fell quite a few times, even though I was travelling at Granny-speed, but I am glad to say that I didn't fall of the lifts, not even once!

With an outdoor temperature of between -9 to -14 and a beautiful blanket of pristine snow, each day felt super healthy and we returned to the hotel every evening with rose-tinged cheeks, ready for a three-course meal prepared by a master chef and followed-up by a whisky and coffee by the fireplace. At the end of the weekend, we had rather grown accustomed to this way of living, but as I was packing to bags to leave, I found my law books and remembered that I was a student... and so life goes on.

Shake, rattle and hum

2006-01-17T09:29:00.000+01:00

It is the day after the first ju-jutsu training of 2006 and I ache and I know that it will get worse during the day. It is just as it should be.
Sometimes, just sometimes, life is predictable.

Congratulations to 'Bear' for his speedy recovery from a broken foot and for joining us finally in the Green Team.

Oh! I forgot to say that my green belt now means that I can finally train in the Advanced Group. Wooo! Wooo! (or maybe Wu! Wu!)

whether we want it or not, the second hands keep on ticking

2006-01-16T21:54:00.000+01:00

Last Friday I emerged from my hermitage and squinted up at the sun and sucked the cold fresh outside air into my stale lungs. Ever since I have returned from UK, I have battened down the hatches and have been in my study working on the 8 questions we got for our Social Politics paper... and finally on Friday I handed it in! Wooooo!!

The weekend was spent going through our house from top to bottom and just throwing out clothes and other miscellaneous junk. I don't know if you know the feeling, but the past few weeks have just felt as if the whole house has just been sitting and weighing heavily on my shoulders. There just seemed to be piles of stuff everywhere and just no space or order, I started to almost feel claustrophobic and just wanted to get some large black bin bags and start throwing out. I am about halfway through now and it feels so good!

... and Law, the dreaded course in our degree has finally started! It is almost as if you think of it as some kind of marine bootcamp. Everyone talks about it in hushed terms and I remember last terms seeing the students in the year above us crowded around tables in the library all the time and all you could get out of them were comments like 'We thought we have had some tough courses, but everything so far has been easy compared to law' and so on... And now I have started it and parted with SEK 1600 for books last week. Time to roll my sleeves up for the next 20 weeks and then it is time for Summer! Now that's a nice thought!

Enthusing about the latest Harry Potter film...

2006-01-14T22:19:00.000+01:00

For those of you who know, I am a die-hard Harry Potter fan and last week, I finally got to see the fourth film and all I can say is WOW! The film is much darker than the first three (I know that that almost seems to a be a buzzword these days, that the latest Batman/Spiderman / Lord of the Rings is much 'darker') but this time it really was. The film was more grown-up and sinister and in keeping with where the books are heading. Anyway, I digress... the film had me spellbound (ha-ha) from start to finish. I laughed, I was moved and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. The film's 2 1/2 or so hours went by too soon.

I am waiting for the seventh and final book with trepidation. I can't wait to read it and find out how the story ends, but at the same time, I am torn, as I just don't want to story to end. I don't want to read that final page and just have that empty feeling, that that's it, no more stories to look forward to. I get kind of sentimental about good books and feel almost as if the world is a touch greyer when they finish. I felt that way about Robin Hobbs' Farseer's trilogy, Liveships trilogy and Fool's trilogy, I felt that was about the Lord of the Rings and I know I will feel that way when the epics and adventures of Harry, Hermione and Ron finally end.

On a positive note, Hermione looked stunning in her ball gown and is going to grow into a very beautiful woman and a talented actress. That is one to watch in the forthcoming years and it is nice to have some young English talent coming through. I guess that is one of the things I like about the Harry Potter films; it is that they are very English.

If any of you, my 'avid' readers have seen the film, what did you think?

New Year, New Year

2006-01-04T17:42:00.000+01:00

Just got back from the UK after spending a very pleasant week at my Mum's house, relaxing. Despite the fact that my course reading was mounting by the day back here, it was nice to be able to just get away from it all, relax, eat some good food and catch-up with some old friends (and new). Ben got shown around the family, but sensibly, Mum had organised everyone to come and visit us, so we didn't have to pack him in and out of cars. On the way home from the airport, we stopped by to show Ben to his Great, Great Aunt and she was very glad to see him. Bless her, she was waiting in the corridor and then had organised a private room and just loved holding him. She told us that he had really made her Christmas. He also got to meet his Great Aunts and his Great Grandad. Ben was in second heaven, not only because he had plenty of baby sitters, but also Mum had managed to fix a baby gym so packed with toys that he didn't know where to start first. He spent many happy hours lying there gripping the giraffe with different coloured feet and kicking his heart content. Mum had also fixed a wonderful baby chair that rocked him and played music (see picture below), and after his initial reservations, he sat in there quite happily the whole time we were eating New Year's dinner.

On the subject of New Year, it feels weird for me to enter a New Year without one single resolution. But relax, the Paul whom you know so well, will catch-up with himself and come-up with some resolutions, and if you are very good, I may even publish them here, so you can hold me to them...

That said, I just have a good feeling that 2006 is going to be a good year and I hope that the same will be true for all of you.

As regards the blog, I can't promise anything as this term will be pretty tough as we are about to start Law, which is touted as our hardest module, but please do drop by during a coffee break and look for up-dates as I am going to try hard to keep writing, even if it is only something short.

Dusting off the cover

2005-12-19T06:37:00.000+01:00

As I dust of the covers of this blog, it is time to write again. I don't have any excuses this time as every choice is about priorities and about opportunity cost. I prioritise 'this' over 'that', and as a result of doing 'this', I don't have time over to do 'that'.

So, what is it that I have prioritised this past month over my blog? Well, actually, life. Let me explain... shortly after Benjamin was born, I finished my sociology course and started the next course, called 'Social Politics'. The fist part of the course was basically Swedish social political history from 1763 to 1998. Lacking an intuitive understanding of the Swedish social political and welfare system and with the usual 1000 page reading list, there was no other option than to buckle down and put in some serious time studying in the library. All of this culminated in a 4 hour written exam last Friday, with such wonderful questions as 'The Swedish social service is primarily produced via the public sector and finansed through taxation. What critique do New Liberalists have over this method?' I will find out how well I did sometime early January, so fingers crossed that I have passed.

To add a twist to things I was also studying hard for my ju-jutsu grading where I was able to attempt my green belt 6 months after my orange, instead of a year. I felt that I had been granted a favour to be allowed to go up and grade, as my attendance had been less than 50% due to Monday training clashing with my swimming, but there you have it, our head instructor approved me and there it was, 2 weeks extra training to get ready for the grading. I am pleased to announce that after a hard grading together with my friend Joachim (or George as it would be in English ;-) I got awarded my green belt and got a year's reprieve before I have to grade again!

In the meantime, I am trying to get my groupwork about UK's social welfare system finished so I can relax and get into the Christmas spirit, ready for Ben's first Christmas, then on Boxing Day we will fly over to England for a week to catch-up with friends and family, eat well, drink a glass of wine or two and relax.

As I probably won't write much between now and New Year, I would like to take this opportunity to thank you all for dropping by and reading my blog during the year, and to wish you a merry Christmas and all the very best for 2006!

Just a smile

2005-12-18T22:35:00.000+01:00

I had written a whole paragraph about babies smiling and how Ben's smile made me feel, but then I looked at the picture again and I decided that there was nothing to say really, the picture says it all. (Thanks to Anna for the fantastic picture!)

Life, as is.

2005-11-10T09:17:00.000+01:00

I had a revelation the other day... I was sitting in bed with a half awake Benjamin in one arm and my ju-jutsu book in the other. It was in the early hours of the morning and I was trying to rock him to sleep after his meal. My eyes were stinging from tiredness and I had a cold and I sat there wondering when my life would take the semblance of some kind of normality. I then realised that this is normal; the only thing missing was a routine.

Little Benjamin has started to smile and laugh for the first time and it is amazing what a difference it makes. I am sitting there tired, I have just changed a particularly smelly diaper and I am trying to work out how I will be able to get my game together to study all day, and suddenly he looks me in the eyes and breaks out a winning gummy smile and suddenly all the rest doesn't matter.

The last two weeks have been full, as I have been busy writing my paper on adolescent drug use/abuse for the second part of my Sociology course. For those of you having a particularly slow day at work or who, God forbid, are having trouble sleeping, my paper can be read here:

An explanation of adolescent drug use/abuse both as a phenomenon and as a social problem

I will let you know how I did when I get my results in 2 weeks or so.

We have now finished the Sociology course, although I have an extra paper to write, as the day Ben was born I missed a compulsory lecture and so am required to complement my knowledge by writing a paper on the lecture's main themes! We have just started our Social Politics course and that will take us through Christmas and into the New Year, where we will then move onto 20 weeks of law. I have destroyed half a small woodland printing out all of the material we are required to read ready for the next exam in 5 weeks time and am trying desperately hard not to sleep in the library whilst I am reading about the development of alcohol policy from the 1700's to the present day!

So, as you can see, life goes on and it is, well ... normal.

Having been slack in my mac

2005-10-26T13:58:00.000+02:00

Having been slack in my mac, it is time for me to spill the beans about what has been going on in my life outside of these four walls, nappy changing, MTV's 04:00 show and milky burps.

I got the results back from my sociology exam and am happy and proud to report that I received a top grade for it. 'Väl gödkänd' or very acceptable! - So no retakes there, which leaves me free to concentrate on my paper, which is due in next Friday. I am arguing about how drug consumption has become a normative behaviour amongst British adolescents and how it has moved from the fringes within various sub-cultures to become a central 'leisure' activity within a unified global youth culture. Within the paper I argue how 'users and addicts' are tarred with the same brush, why there needs to be a difference between 'soft and hard' drug usage and how many of the existing theories about drug consumption are out-dated, resulting from 50 year-old academics applying their own experiences of teenage years onto today's youth. I attempt, by looking at the structural, cultural and individual changes within youth culture to present a new proposition for why, despite parental objection and public health campaigns, drug usage has ceased to be a culture and has, instead, become a norm.

Swimming has resumed as normal and Benjamin has duly been put on the list to start his baby-swim classes next February. Tomorrow will be my first appearance in the ju-jutsu dojo for a while and I have been promised a bruising by both Bear a.k.a The 8 palms of an angry Buddha and by Jocke, the resident saskwatch. The sad thing is that I can't wait. My body is actually silently yearning to sweat, ache and generally to have the s**t kicked out of it. (note to self: take up suspected masochistic tendencies at next therapy session)

In the middle of all of this, I am trying to sell my beloved car (featured above). Yes, after putting the baby seat in the back, it is no longer comfortable for me to drive, and, although we can get pram, baby seat, Benjamin, Ellie and me into the car, there isn't space for much else. So, in the kind-of-sad trend of fathers the world over, I am giving-up the sporty car of my youth and am buying based on practicality! Ho-hum! I guess I will have to wait until either my mid-life crisis or until I somehow manage to earn a fat wage before I can test my testicular fortitude again by slapping Prodigy's 'smack my b*tch up' into the CD-drive and flooring the gas pedal as I try to loose my hair-piece and get my bowels moving again!

Well, I need to get some lunch inside me and then get some lengths done before swimming lessons start, so I'll be wishing y'all a great day and thank-you for sticking with me ;-)

Waiting for feeding time

2005-10-25T23:24:00.000+02:00

I thought I would try and get off a quick up-date as I am waiting to give Ben his final feed of the day, before the next (03:15) feed kicks in early tomorrow morning. As I did the 'red eye' feed last night, I get to sleep in until 06:15 tomorrow morning before it is my turn again!

Although things can change fast with small babies, it does feel that at the moment we are beginning to get a grip on things and we are able to take the measure of each other and slowly fumble our way towards some kind of routine, which helps Ben feel more secure and which enables us to function. But it has been a struggle to get there.

When we got back from the maternity ward on the Monday after his birth, Ben had lost nearly 10% of his birth weight and we were duly told to feed him and feed him well. As there are no helpful millilitre guides on breasts it is really difficult to see how much milk they are getting. The next time he was weighed, he had only gone-up 40g and we were told to feed him with the bottle every 2 hours, using the number of days old he was x 10 to get the ml amount we should be feeding him each meal time. We followed our instructions, but last Friday night, we couldn't even wake him for a feed and he just lay on my shoulders floppy and lifeless like a rag-doll. We took him back to the maternity ward only to be told that we had stuffed him full and we can't just wake him every two hours, as he needs to sleep! We were to leave at least 3 hours between each meal and if he still didn't eat enough, we were to take him to the paediatric emergency ward.

And that is where we ended-up on the Sunday evening as he still wasn't eating what he should, needless to say as soon as we arrived there, he woke-up and screamed for food. The paediatrician on duty checked him and we got the thumbs up (and she marked our journal with 'anxious first time parents' and we got him home with new instructions for feeding him! (something along the lines of his daily consumption should be 200ml x body weight / number of feeds per day)

Since then, I am glad to report that little Ben is fattening-up nicely for Christmas! After dropping down to 2.8kg, he is now up around 3.5kg and doesn't hesitate to remind us when it is time to eat! He is changing in appearance daily and if his hair keeps growing at its current rate, he will have a decent mullet in no time.

Alongside of all of this, we are growing in our roles as parents and life is taking on some semblance of normality. Today, for instance, I managed to drink a cup of coffee whilst it was still hot! Well, it is time to warm the bottle, so I'll sign off and wish you all a good night.

Time is elastic. The hours of night are longer than the hours of the day.

2005-10-13T06:09:00.000+02:00

Daywalker is the name given to vampires in the Blade trilogy, who have mutated and are able to walk in sunlight; it also seems quite an adequate description for Ellie and I. It feels as if we are creatures of the night, who walk by day but don't belong there.
Night is when we come out, night is when we pace the living room floor rocking and swaying, night is when we make the trips to the kitchen to warm the milk and night is when we sit with a soothing finger in a little mouth, watching the clock tick the minutes and the hours away towards morning and maybe, just maybe, towards sleep.
Inside this house, everything has changed. Once two competent and intelligent adults, we now question ourselves constantly (is he breathing? should he sleep on his back or side? is he still hungry? was the milk warm enough? should we wake him and feed him?) and are virtually subservient to the now familiar movement of wrinkled face, hands bunched into fists and pulled up to the ears, deep intake of breath and then 'ladies and gentlemen, I have the following announcement to make'... With this flip-flop of night into day and this stretching and blending of hours and minutes, daylight, lamplight and darkness, all marked by rhythmic ticking of the second hand on the clock, I have discovered how routinised I had become. I become tired at 23:00 even though I may not get to sleep until 04:00. As a result of displaced sleep patterns (and a healthy dose of 'new parent worry', my digestion has been thrown off track. I need more energy to keep going, so I am hungry all the time, but when it comes to time to eat, I am suddenly not hungry anymore; and despite all I drink, I cannot quench my thirst. I have always been a day person, but I am learning about the night now, the quiet times and the not so quiet times, in addition to that, I am also going through a steep learning curve in Baby 101. I am learning the fast and cleanest way to change a diaper, learning the difference between the hungry cry, the tired cry, the tummy ache cry, the lonely cry and the just-for-the-sake-of-it cry and getting to know an entirely new person who relies on Ellie and I for everything.
As the grey light of dawn breaks, now later and later, I emerge, slightly stunned and try to live around normal people. Outside us, outside of this house, these four walls, the world hasn't changed, much; I stumble through it, feeling strangely out of place, disassociated, almost as if I got stuck halfway in and halfway out of an out-of-body experience. I listen to lectures, kind of watch myself talking to people and leave the library, as a rule, when I have read the same sentence more than 10 times in a row. I am now a daywalker but also a proud father. I haven't got the energy to shout it out from the rooftops yet, but just now I am content to let my son do it for me.

He announced his presence with one brave scream

2005-10-07T13:54:00.000+02:00

Dear All,

I am both proud and it is my greatest pleasure to announce that yesterday at 10:20 in the morning, little Benjamin was born. He weighed in at 3,1kg and is 51cm long and simply the most beautiful little person both Ellie and I have seen in our lives. The delivery went well and we have a couple of days in maternity ward before we bring him home. Last night as he gave a last big sigh, stopped crying and fell asleep in his Dad’s arms, I felt simultaneously stronger and more vulnerable that I have ever felt before and my heart simply melted.

I will write more later, as I must get back to Mum and baby now. Below you can see his first photos and a photo or two of a proud Dad and a wonderful, proud, brave and tired Mum. Enjoy…

Time present and time past are both perhaps present in time future

2005-10-03T23:57:00.000+02:00

Dear Readers,

Just in case you can't stand the tension anymore, I will let you all off the hook. We are still waiting... What promised to be an interesting weekend after the exam, has turned out to be one of waiting. We almost ran out of things to say to each other and just sat there looking at 'the bump' and willing him to come out. So as of today, we are like arrival day +2. It isn't a good start. I have a good word with 'the bump' already of Friday and told him that his Dad's exam was over and it would be a good time for him to shout his barbaric YAWP, but no, in a model show of early disobedience, he chose to ignore me completely. As so, to practice reverse psychology, I have chosen to ignore him. I will get on with my week as if nothing is happening, and when the cheeky rascal decides that it is time, then I'll show him who his Daddy is.

I have had visions recently, in an episode remnant of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (the books and not the recent awful film) of coming into the labour ward, doctors running everywhere, nurses and midwifes preparing a room, Ellie in labour and suddenly I walk in, with an aura of calm. The doctors and nurses stop in mid-stride and the ward is suddenly silent of the screams of new babies. 'Don't worry,' I say, 'I am a man who knows where his towel is.' And all shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well.

Exams are over, but there's still time for a Quiz

2005-09-30T10:08:00.000+02:00

4 hours and 25 A4 pages later, my exam is finally over and I have a free long weekend. Still no baby, but we have entered the final phase now. I must say that I am relieved as I wanted to take and pass this exam (it would have been really inconvenient to have to retake it later) but at the same time, I didn't want my attention in any way divided during such an important moment. Now the exam is done and I can assure you all that I am doing a lot of negotiating with 'the bump' to persuade him to show his face either today or over the weekend. Only time will tell and of course, you will be the first to know (well almost) here on chopandcarry.

...and talking about time, here is Friday Quiz Time™

Question 1: Name one person that raises your blood pressure?

Question 2: Are you a dog or a cat person and why?

Question 3: RE: your future. What lies ahead?

Question 4: Would you like to be famous for *more* than 15 minutes and if so, what for?

Question 5: Friday Freebee: Tell us anything you want about how you like to spend the weekend.

This should bring back memories for some of you...

2005-09-29T09:28:00.000+02:00

... Ladies and Gentleman, on the paper in front of you you have ten questions. You are required to answer eight of them only and you have 4 hours in which to do so. The exam starts now, please turn over your papers and begin...

Except for me it isn't a memory, but rather a reality that will kick off today between 13:00-17:00. Yes, the sociology exam has arrived after 5 weeks hard work and a lot of reading and now it is time to ellicit my stealth and write in copious quantities about Durkheim, Weber, Marx, Habermas, Goffman, Illich, Mac an Ghaill, Bordieu, Focault and Giddens to name a few. To cut to the core of structual-functionalism, symbolic interactionism, constructivism and interactionsim. The pick my way through the dilemmas of structure vs actor and consensus versus conflict, to agrue about the benefits and evils of globalism, the decline or change of national states and the decline or adaptation of religion... and all the while to hope that our little baby doesn't choose this exact afternoon as a perfect time to scream his proud cry and enter the world for the first time!

Whilst I was reading some Focault, I came across this about personality, which I found pretty interesting; see what you make of it (I have quickly translated from my Swedish textbook and so apologise if it is idiomatic): '...people don't have a real identity within themselves; just a way of talking about themselves, a discourse. An 'identity' is communicated to others in our interactions with them, but it is not a fixed thing within a person. It is a shifting, temporary construction. People don't have power inplicitly; rather power is a technique or action that individuals engage in. Power is not posessed, it is exercised. There is a complex interplay between discourse, power relations and individuals communicated identities.'

Wine Recommendations (at student prices!)

2005-09-26T07:30:00.000+02:00

The BAD news: Being a student and living off money borrowed from the government, I have had to severely revise my wine purchasing and what I stock my cellar with.

The GOOD news: This doesn't mean that I stop buying wine, but rather that I look more closely and do my research so I can pick-up great wines that cost less!

So, after some intensive research slotted into the spots where I am not doing anything (which are few and far between) I have come up with some good recommendations for both September and October. The wines are a mixture of those that can be cellared, those that should be cellared and those that can be drunk now. All of the wines are full-bodied and a real bruiser on the palette, and are perfect for sharing with friends as the evenings draw in and it starts to get colder.

For my UK readers, just copy the names and try pasting them into the 'search' boxes of any of the following websites:

http://www.tesco.com/winestore
http://www.johnlewis.com/Shopping/Area.aspx?ARA=Waitrose+Wine&source=15198&source=15198
http://www.sainsburyswine.co.uk
http://193.201.200.191/asdawine/pages/index.html
https://www.unwins.co.uk/
http://www.oddbins.com

Hopefully they will have some of them in stock for you to enjoy.

For my Swedish readers, all wines are featured with their order number, so queue-up, smile and assert your right to drink good wine!

So, without further ado, let's present the contenders for September/October:

6122 Inca Merlot/Bondara 2004 (Argentina) 59:- Drink now - 2006
6580 Santa Emiliana Cabernet Sauvignon 2003 (Chile) 59:- Drink Now
2337 Montepulciano d'Abruzzo 2004 (Italy) 55:- Drink now - 2006
3134 Château de Ségure, Fitou 2003 (France) 85:- Drink now - 2009
99593 Masi Tupungato Paso Doble 2004 (Argentina) 99:- 2006-2010

I hope that you enjoy the wines and, if you get hold of them and drink them, please leave a comment or two about what you think.

Have a great day y'all... oh and no news yet ;-)

Rage against the machine. Oh... and Friday Quiz Time™

2005-09-23T07:39:00.000+02:00

Before I reel out the questions for this week's Friday Quiz Time™, back by popular request from, amongst others, Dale, (who has not as yet answered a question) I just want to rage against the machine and complain about rising petrol prices and present you with a very biased and simplified piece of economic analysis that gives me a good reason to complain ;-)

We are all being hit at the moment by rising petrol prices and a variety of factors are being blamed. Oil companies place the blame at the foot of government, prompting us to look at what percent of the price per litre is constituted by tax. Governments blame the effects of globalisation, speculation and the regional-political arena and control created by the OPEC oligopoly. Economists tell us that it is economies-of-scale and a growth-inducing necessity that the price of petrol in the US is much lower than it is in Europe... and we have watched our petrol prices rising dramatically over the past year.

Now they have just risen again and the blame is being placed this time on the weather. Yep, because Hurricane Rita poses a potential threat to oil reserves and production in the US, the price needs to go up. So we as consumers are doubly punished, Firstly we are punished by an increase in petrol prices; then as any damage done will undoubtedly be insured against, the oil companies will claim on their insurance, the insurance companies will pay-up and then they will need to recuperate those payments. Where do you think this recuperation will come from? Our insurance premiums next year. I can see the letter now 'Dear Sir/Madam, due to unforeseen market circumstances and a general rise in the retail price index blah blah, we will be increasing the premium next year on your house/car/medical/pet/child/breast/arse insurance by loads of cash' - Yes, we will pay once more.

To rub salt into the wound, the price of petrol has already gone up in anticipation of damage. What, may I ask happens if the hurricane blows itself out or blows by the refineries with no damage at all? Will I get a refund? It is like an airline asking you to pay extra for your plane ticket in case you need to land somewhere else and you need a hotel room for the night. - So, they increase the price of petrol and blame the cost on the amount of tax the government charges. Without tax, there is no welfare system, without a welfare system (no matter what we may think about it) there is no safety net for any of us. But, by pointing the finger at the government, the oil industry gets off scot-free, but at least the government provides something from the money it makes. Lets look at the oil industry: If we say that profit = income - costs, so in order to make a profit, what you earn needs to more than cover any costs you incur; and that exploration and production of oil is a cost, do you have any idea what kind of money the major oil companies invested last year in oil production and extraction?

Shell US$ 6,920,000,000
BP US$ 8,500,000,000
Exxon/Mobil US$ 9,350,000,000
Chevron/Texaco US$ 6,180,000,000
Connoco Phillips US$ 5,068,000,000

So, in order to make a profit, which they all did last year, their income must have exceeded these and other costs (like refineries and buildings, transport, petrol stations, employee costs, to name but a few)

From this you can imagine that they could easily themselves cover the cost of any damage without us, the consumer needing to take a hit, but they don't, instead the price of petrol increases just in case there is any damage and the price of petrol increases so that they can protect their profit margins and maintain shareholder value. And we get screwed, which is why I cycle the 11km to and from university every day!

Anyway, now I have that off my chest, I can launch Friday Quiz Time™ without further delay:

Question 1: What is the best blog post you have come across this week and why?

Question 2: Put down one stanza from your favourite song lyric, one that has particular meaning to you, one that, had you thought of it first, would have written yourself.

Question 3: Name of the last book you read, and list your favourite passage from said book.

Question 4: If you were King (and/or) Queen for a day, describe your first proclamation.

Question 5: Friday Freebee... Tell us anything you want about the ocean.

Saved by the bell!

2005-09-21T08:14:00.000+02:00

Wanted to write something today, but had no idea what. A huge THANKS to Blissful for tagging me and getting me off the hook ;-)

10 years ago
Just started university doing my first degree in International Business Management and German. Met James, my best friend. At this stage I was studying hard every day, but soon the boys in the Shearbridge Green Block H decided that I was being a nerd and took me out to the nearest pub. The rest, as they say, is history.

5 years ago
Had moved to Sweden and was making great strides in learning Swedish. I was working for a company who provided media databases to the advertising industry and I had just been promoted to product manager for the ’New Media’ Database. Ellie & I were living in a nice apartment just 5 minutes from the ocean.

1 Year Ago
Had gone down to half time at the advertising agency I worked at, much to the chagrin of management and was in the middle of planning my resignation and the negotiation of a freelance contract. I was studying my Swedish ’A’-level, which I needed to pass in order to be able to study at a Swedish university. It was during this year that I met our great friends Meral and Alf, as Meral and I were on the same Swedish course.

Yesterday
Sat in the university library most of the day preparing a presentation for our sociology groupwork. We then presented our work some time mid-afternoon. I then got home, ate some supper, talked to Ellie and helped her practice her breathing techniques and then I went down to the batcave and studied some more.

Today
Got up, did my exercises, and drank some coffee. I am just filling this out before I go into university and begin reading up on Durkheim, Marx and Weber in preparation for our exam next week. I will then push off sometime in the afternoon, swim 1,5km and then teach swim school until 18:30. I will then pick-up Ellie from her water gymnastics for soon-to-be mothers and we will eat something at home and then I guess I will study for another hour or two.

Tomorrow
Into the library and work through the study questions we have been given as a practice for the exam. I have a lecture from 12-15:30 and then I will study until around 17:00. I will then come home, pack my bag and head out to ju-jutsu where I will catch-up with the boys. Then it is time to step onto the mat and see how many bruises I can give Bear and how flexible his arm is.

5 songs I know the words to:
1. Tonight – Eagle Eye Cherry
2. Nothing Man – Bruce Springsteen
3. Particle Man – They might be giants
4. Pater Noster - Stravinsky
5. Burn one down- Ben Harper

5 snacks:
1. apple
2. tortilla crisps
3. Peach / Nectarine
4.
5.

5 things I would do with $100 million:
1. Give some away to charity
2. Move House
3. Buy a new car
4. Ellie & I would travel more
5. Enjoy things with friends and family that maybe cost a bit more than normal.

5 places I would run away to:
1. Australia
2. Hawaii
3. Maldives
4. Mauritius
5. Masai Mara Game Reserve

5 things I would never wear:
1. White socks
2. Socks with sandals
3. Cheap nylon shiny suit
4. Trousers that were too short
5. football shirt

5 favourite tv shows (I don’t watch much TV, but . . .)
1. Scrubs
2. Ed
3. Simpsons
4. Family Guy
5. ? ? ?

5 joys:
1. Seeing my wife, Ellie, every day
2. That I am going to be a father any day
3. My friends
4. Fishing with friends
5. Training ju-jutsu

5 bad habits:
1. Push myself too hard
2. Expect similar from others
3. Too impatient at times
4. ?
5. ?

5 things I like doing:
1. Reading all day long (never happens these days, unless it is some academic tome!)
2. Playing with children
3. Sitting in a jacuzzi with a great view
4. Swimming bare-butt nekkid on a warm day
5. Being outdoors

5 Movies I like:
1. Whale Rider
2. The Station Agent
3. Closer
4. American Pie Series
5. Så som i himmeln

5 famous people Id like to meet:
1. Nelson Mandela
2. Buddha
3. Bill Clinton
4. Kofi Annan
5. Liv Tyler ;-)

5 favourite toys

1. My little silver Mac
2. Car
3. Mobile Phone
4. Mini i-pod
5. Coffee machine

I tag Dom, Bear and Therese to pick this up and run with it.

More time, more time

2005-09-18T11:42:00.000+02:00

To my Fellow Bloggers & Avid Loyal Readers (and those who choose to hang in my hood)

Please accept my apologies for my absence of last week. Apologies for the lack of 'My weekend in 5 photos and for the almost unforgivable absence of 'Friday Quiz Time™' for which only Dale requested that I got my priorities in order! (and I thought you all loved it)

To quell any potential rumours, there is no baby yet, but he could come anytime. However, the closer he gets, the more that my time is guarded. What with studying full time and then working on top of that and trying to fit in some training, the time I have left over, I spend with Ellie, talking, laughing and scaring ourselves silly each time she gets a contraction. Thus there hasn't been much time over for either blog brainstorming (to ensure that you, my loyal readers, get nothing but the best quality penmanship) or going down to the bat cave and proving that the pen is indeed mightier than the sword. That said, I don't want to lose my blog or my blog readership, so I will take the necessary measures to tighten my life one step further to ensure that the zany blend of me can continue to provide lite amusement in your coffee breaks.

In a quirky twist of fate, I have actually had more visitors this week through not writing, with my visitor numbers passing the 3000 mark, than I normally get in a week when I am writing. Go figure! In addition to this, I am about to gain two new fans. So please all welcome Stuart & Davida, close family friends who have known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper, who will be picking up the vibes all the way from Cheddington in Cheshire :-)

Friday Quiz Time

2005-09-08T23:12:00.000+02:00

This week has gone quickly. To quote the cliché, it really feels like it was just yesterday that I sat down to write lastg Friday's questions and here we are again!

Firstly a big thank-you to all of you who took the time to look at Anna's photos and wrote comments. You know who you are... and I am grateful. I will put all of the comments into an e-mail and send them over this weekend.

No baby news as yet. As from this sunday, we move into the 3 week zone, where it is considered 'normal' delivery time, even though 80% of deliveries happen in the period one week before/ one week after. Ellie's midwife doesn't seem to think that she will go over time, and it seems to us both as if things are moving in that direction, to the extent that we purchased our first of many,many pack of diapers!

On the subject of diapers, enough of my drivel, it is time for this Friday's Quiz Time™:

Question 1: What are your top 5 songs just now?

Question 2: Do you exercise on a regular basis & if so, what do you do?

Question 3: If you were to marry someone famous, who would it be?

Question 4: What 2 things do people really need to know to do your job?

Question 5: Friday Freebeee – Tell us anything you want about the Maori Haka

Virtual Exhibition Part Deux

2005-09-07T08:33:00.000+02:00

Thank-you all very much for your comments yesterday. Here is the second part of the virtual exhibition of nature stills and close-ups. At the end of today, I'll gather up your comments and send them to Anna and, of course, I will let you know what happens.

On a side note, it actually feels quite good to be able to use a blog for something interactive, which has a meaning or benefit for other people.

Have a great day, it's half-way through the week already... and enjoy the photos.

The power of words

2005-09-06T09:24:00.000+02:00

Photography seems to be something pretty topical at the moment. I have just viewed some amazing images from Dale's site and have visited Dom's new photoblog. I have read Theresa's post about setting up a photoblog and the fun and games she is having there and I have just viewed Jodie's sight to see someone smiling whilst hurting inside.

I have often felt that the sign of a good photographer is someone who has an eye for an image. I think that 75% of a good photo is being able to see the opportunity in the first place and 25% is being able to perfectly capture what it is that you are seeing.

When my brother and his girlfriend Anna were visiting a while back, we were talking about photography as Anna had brought herself a great camera and was both interested in experimenting with photography and wanted to learn more. Anna was quite shy about her photography, but I think her natural images are absolutely stunning and she should look to do more with them. She feels that the pictures are ok, but since they have never been exposed to a wider audience, she has no idea whether they stand up to the test of a 'good photo' or are simply just ok.

Since there are so many of you out there who are interested in photography, I thought we could do something like this. I will use today's and tomorrow's post as a virtual exhibition of some of Anna's photos and you can let me know what you think. If you think the photos are good, please encourage your friends to visit so she can get feedback from as wide an audience as possible, but above all, be honest. I will pass your comments and feedback onto Anna, and who knows what direction it might take...

Word verification

2005-09-06T08:50:00.000+02:00

Although I am flattered that people feel the irresistable need to inform me what financial gains stand to be made from my investing in aluminum and timber, or that they think my blog is really well written, intend to visit it again, and in the meantime would I be interested in visiting theirs and learning about on-line poker... I feel that their comments just don't have the same ring as comments from those of you who make the effort to read my barbaric YAWP. I hope that it won't inconvenience you too much, but I have turned on word verification for my comments, so that together we can say 'Hey, there is enough crap advertising on TV already, just leave our blogs alone!'

My weekend in 0 photos

2005-09-05T08:17:00.000+02:00

I was going to start today with the usual 'my weekend in 5 photos' but it just didn’t work for me this weekend. There should have been the photos of Ellie & I chilling out with friends on Friday night, but I forgot the camera. There should have been photos of Andreas, Bear, Jonas and I holding gargantuan fish that we plucked from the depths of the lake by sheer skill, but after fishing from 07:30-16:00 we came away empty handed! My ju-jutsu training on Sunday was a waste of time, and it just wasn't worth taking 5 photos of me weeding the garden and picking apples, so there you go, unfortunately, no photos.

Not much more to say really, except have a great day y'all & a big WELCOME to Dale :-)

Patiently waiting...

2005-09-02T07:03:00.000+02:00

I know, I know, you have been waiting all week for this... the sad thing is that so have I.

There has been much this week that has been new. I have started a new course at university and the course is in a new language! I have learnt that a friend of mine has a new girlfriend and I have started a new project with my consultancy company. I have used my blog in a new way to share my concerns with you and by the time you read this, I will probably have a new haircut.

I understand if this is all suddenly too much. All this 'newness' , things happening left, right and center. I blame globalisation myself, but placing blame can't release us from the endless pressure of 'Gotta do more, gotta be more.' However, I have set up a bastion, a stronghold. I have set up a solid pillar to which we can anchor ourselves tight, whilst the winds of change blow and the sands of time shift around us. While all around us seems ephemeral, Friday Quiz Time™ shines like a beacon of white light, guiding us safetly to the shores of the weekend.

And without further ado, here are the questions:

Question 1: If we met face to face, right now, what would my first impression be of you?

Question 2: Name someone dead that you would like to have drinks with and explain why?

Question 3: Every once in a while, someone surprises you. Who did most recently?

Question 4: 2. What is your motto? (if you are stumped, then what is your favourite quote)

Question 5: Friday Freebee... Tell us anything you want about clothing.

Man seeks babel-fish

2005-09-01T07:35:00.000+02:00

HOW MUCH OF THIS DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

Læs forordet først!
Ved man ingenting om den franske forfatter, så er selve handlingen i denne tegneserie ikke meget værd, dertil er der for lidt stringens i historien, som også tager nogle surrealistiske hop på stedet, når vor helt småsnakker lidt med den lille prins, der sidder på en sky, eller bliver stoppet af en repræsentant fra himmelpolitiet. Så læs forordet, få tjek på fakta, og så kan man læne sig tilbage og nyde en mester, der hylder en anden.

Probably about as much as me, as it is in Danish. But believe me when I say that written Danish is far easier than spoken Danish.... and where is this all leading, I hear you ask... well, when I started back at university on Monday, I already thought that this course would be a challenge. The first part of this course will culminate on Thursday29th September with a 4 hour essay exam based on 1000 pages of reading, including Gidden's introductory tome on Sociology and Bauman's argumentative text charting society's development from a nation of producers to a nation of consumers and the impact this has on the 'new' poor; the people who are sold on the expectations of lifestyle aspirations but will never have the means to achieve them.

I digress, what I am trying to get at is that I have 1000 pages of academic tomes in Swedish to read and around 5 weeks to read them and push them into my brain so I can write essays on the subject. Add to that the fact that our baby is due on October 1st. He could be born on that date or three weeks before or two weeks after, all of which is normal. If he is born before, then last minute reading and revision is not really going to happen.

Just when I thought that this couldn't get any worse, our lecturer walked in, introduced himself and then explained as we had already deduced that he was indeed Danish and it was expected of students studying at Scandinavian universities that we could understand and read Swedish, Danish and Norwegian! And off he went in Danish, happily explaining why Durkheim was a structural determinist blah, blah blah.

He seems like a really nice bloke. I don't understand a word he says. This promises to be an interesting semester!

Don't forget to keep turning the pages of those encyclopaedias as tomorrow is Friday Quiz Time™

United Nations?

2005-08-31T07:55:00.000+02:00

Ladies & Gentlemen, I would like to interrupt today's normal brand of waffle to try and correct a big misunderstanding that seems to be about to occur in New York this week.

I was actually about to sit down and harp on about misappropriation of foreign donor aid in Malawi, but that will have to wait, I read about this misunderstanding today and it is more urgent.

To quickly sum up, so we all start from the same page... as many of you know, part of my morning routine is to sit with a cup of coffee and scan the BBC news. I know that some of you also do this and some of you view the news as definitive proof of Satan. Be that as it may, as I scanned the news today, there was an article about Kofi Annan returning a week early from his holiday in Ghana to sort out a crisis in the UN. To mark 60 years of the United Nations, Mr. Annan has been trying to bring about a sweeping set of reforms, aimed at 're-defining the organisation for the 21st Century' or basically to modernise the organisation so it is better equipped to tackle the key issues of our time. These reforms include management changes and increased action to meet millennium goals to reduce poverty and promote development.

You can just imagine all of the leg work needed to get all the member countries of the UN to agree on the reforms and pull them into a document, but finally this was achieved and the 38 page draft document was presented to the general assembly earlier this month, charting some pretty substantial reforms...

... I know, you are waiting for the 'BUT' and here it comes... 'BUT' right at the last minute, USA's new ambassador to the UN, John Bolton suddenly steps up to the mike and asks for hundreds of changes. Not a few, but hundreds and not whilst the issues were being debated, but right at the last minute when everyone had agreed. Hmmmm, I sense some heavy-handed 'diplomacy' here. It is like letting me cross the playground, decide what I want to eat and letting me just about get to the serving table before you steal my lunch money! (You somehow get the feeling that had the objections been raised by say, Botswana, they may not have resulted in the document having to be re-drafted, but that is just a feeling I get.)

And what were some of these changes or 'objections'? I am sure that these will come as no great surprise...

- Objections to references to an International Criminal Court (as they may possibly have something to say about Guantanamo Bay or the extradition of 'suspected terrorists' the 3rd party countries where torture is commonplace)
- Objections to increased action to combat global warming (it is probably getting increasingly expensive to buy the emission rights from pristine woodland in Siberia so that factories don't need to invest in environmentally clean & sustainable production methods, which may mean slightly reduced shareholder return for a few years)
- Objections to increased development aid. (This one actually surprised me as it the normal rule of thumb is that if I give you a dollar or two, that automatically gives me the right to meddle in your country's politics. Take the AIDS fight in Uganda for example)

And what other major changes need to be brought about, I hear you ask...
- Greater commitment to tackling terrorism
- Greater commitment to tackling nuclear proliferation.

Let's just put it this way. I know that literacy rates in the US aren't that high, but most 5 year olds over here in Sweden could tell you that USA is not the same as UN.

Maybe I am over-reacting, but I would be really interested to hear what y'all thing about this...

1 weekend, 5 pictures

2005-08-29T07:20:00.000+02:00

Friday evening we went over to Ellie's parents for dinner. Their apartment has a wonderful view over the ocean between Malmö and Copenhagen. It is fun sitting on their balcony and looking with the binoculars over the water to Copenhagen. Malmö is currently hosting Acts 6 & 7 of the America's Cup sailing competition, so we have been able to sit on their balcony and watch the action. Malmö also hosts a week long festival at the end of August each year, with activities, bands and themed tents situated throughout the city. The end of the festival is always celebrated with an amazing fireworks display. This normally takes place in the middle of the town, but due the the sailing competition and the fact that 'celebrities' like Richard Branson had that boats parked just outside our window, they decided to hold the firework display on the coast. It worked perfectly for us as we could avoid the crowds, pour a whisky and just go out onto the balcony and watch.

On Saturday, we celebrated the wedding of our good friends Meral and Alf. They had a lovely wedding service where Meral's father acted as priest. His speech was absolutely fantastic (I hope one day I can hold a speech like that for my kids). The whole speech was in German and was based around the hymn that she had chosen for the service. The food was delicious and the evening was very chilled out with good company.

Here is Ellie and I just before we had to jump into the car. We had to bend the speed limit a bit to get to the wedding on time, which would account for Ellie's slightly worried look in the photo ;-)
(As you can see, I still haven't managed to get a haircut, so for those who asked, consider this my 'before' shot)

Here is the happy couple. Congratulations you two! You both look absolutely gorgeous.

Sunday started leisurely and then it was time for free-trainig at ju-jutsu. Bear claimed to still be recovering from the armbreaker I pulled out of my weapon cabinet for him last Thursday, so Joachim kindly stepped in as my partner and we had a good hour and a half on the mat, running through blocks, locks, throws, un-armed and weapons techniques.

After ju-jutsu (and after I had cleaned the house) it was Ellie's cousin's 16th birthday party. She obviously had one party where all us old folk weren't invited and then we get to come round a few days later, mainly just to drop the presents off ;-) Happy Birthday Micaela!

Paper and pen ready...

2005-08-26T07:28:00.000+02:00

Ok, it's Friday Quiz Time. I would have liked to call it 'Friday's 5 at Five' but I just can't be arsed to remember to post it at 5 and besides, 5pm here is 4pm in UK and 11am with Annabella in Washington DC. I don't know, the problems of having a blog with an international readership! So, the bad news is that it will simply be known henceforth as Friday Quiz Time™, the good news is that is will be a regular feature and I have been working hard to pull together some 'interesting' questions. It is my hope that Friday Quiz Time™ will enable us to get to know one another a little bit better, will maybe enable us to get to know ourselves a little bit better and above all, will be a bit of fun to get us in the mood for the coming weekend.

So, without further ado...

Question 1: We are a little bit over half way through the year. Be honest now, how well are you doing with your New Year's resultions? (Bonus Question, if you are feeling really brave, maybe you want to share a few of them with us so we can support you on your way to a loving, rich and beautiful life)

Question 2: Tell us about something that you saw/read /heard/experienced recently that stuck in your mind and why it stuck there?

Question 3: If you wrote a book, what would the first and/or last line be?

Question 4: When is the last time you stood up for yourself?

Question 5: Friday Freebe...tell us anything you want about music!

Man seeks haircut.

2005-08-25T08:22:00.000+02:00

Ok, so I survived my swimming. The first class of a new term is always a little hectic and to make matters worse, the parents sit on the benches to watch, just in case little Johnny can't be without Mommy. I think what makes me a bit apprehensive is that I hold the classes in Swedish and sometimes lack the vocabulary to explain to a 5 year old what they should be doing with their arms and legs in order to swim breastroke. Creativity is far easier to come by in your mother-tongue.

Today will be a good day if I can book a haircut and get a time very, very soon. Today is also time for ju-jitsu. This evening I will enter the sanctity of the dojo, meet my fellow pugilists (including Bear who has promised to shed my blood) and I will get rid of some excess energy, a little bit like playing with a kid two hours before bedtime to ensure that they sleep deeply ;.-)

After training, I will work out tomorrow’s 5 questions for Quiz Time, so get paper and pen ready…

It's not what or even who you know, it's what your bottom looks like

2005-08-24T07:23:00.000+02:00

A little bit like those scary movie parodies 'I know what you did last summer' and so on, we can now all say 'I know what you did this morning.'

Today I will continue my temp job working with database entry verification, basically going through endless spreadsheets and checking them against the data entered in a database and correcting the data as necessary. This is something that I do surprisingly fast and accurately, but it is not a talent that I boast about at parties!

In the afternoon, I drive to a little town about 20km south of here, called Vellinge, where I am a swimming instructor. I instruct in baby swim (3months to 2 years old), mini swim (2-5 years) and will today start as an instructor for swim school (5-7). I am actually a little apprehensive as not only will I have a pool of twenty 5 year olds, but also I have never instructed at swim school and I have never met the other person I will be instructing with. I haven't been given information about the purpose or aim of the different classes and groups, I don't know whether I am leading the classes or assisting. Basically I don't have much to go on and will have to wing it like a champion.

When I first started working there, one of my many tasks was to hold the warm-up for the children before swim class started. The mums told me that the kids really enjoyed the warm-up, especially the part where we would stretch as high as we could into the air to pluck an apple from a tree, and then crouch down to put it in a basket. One day, I discovered that maybe wasn't just the kids who were enjoying my warm-ups; as I hung up my swimming togs to dry, I noticed that they had become so worn at the back that they had become see-through! In a slight panic, I pulled them on, faced the mirror, turned around slowly, and sure enough, there was my rather fine bottom! (no pictures today unfortunately)

Luckily I didn't get fired for indecent exposure and when I asked the instructor who hired me why she didn't point out that my trunks were see through, she smiled and told me that that is why I got the job in the first place...

Morning routines

2005-08-23T07:41:00.000+02:00

Each and every morning, once my alarm goes off, I go straight into the bathroom and splash my face with cold water. I then come downstairs and start my morning exercises. In-between swapping from press-ups to sit-ups, I fill the kettle and prepare my coffee press.

Once I have finished my exercises I bring my coffee press through into the lounge and go online. I am fortunate to have both broadband and a router, so I can surf wherever in the house. Depending on the weather I either sit inside or I sit outside on the verandah. As I am waiting for my coffee to brew, I normally go straight to the BBC's website and catch-up on news and current affairs. From there, I normally have a quick look at my blog and other blogs to see if there has been any evening activity.

Whilst I am doing this, I slowly press down the filter in my coffee press and fill my cup. At this point I stop everything, take a deep breath and then take a sip of my coffee. I just savour the taste and let it filter through to every fibre in my body. I normally just sit there for a while with my coffee, just taking the day in around me. Once I have drunk my first cup, the spell is broken and I start to get ready and get on with my day.

When we were commuting together to work in London, my Dad once said to me that I shouldn't hate the mornings, but rather I should develop a routine and then use it, rather like an old, comfortable bathrobe, to ease my way into the day.

What routines do you have each morning of the week?

My weekend in photos

2005-08-22T07:34:00.000+02:00

I thought that I would do something different this Monday morning and simultaneously set a challenge for those of you who have blogs (and provide some nice pictures for those of you who don't).

The aim is to use 5 photos to provide your readers with a representation of your weekend. I have tried to use my photos like a pictorial haiku, a collage of a few images which communicate the essence of my weekend, hopefully not only, for example showing me on a beach, but also enabling you to feel the sand in between your toes. I am, of course, talking bollocks now... anyway, here are my 5 pictures...

Friday's 5 Questions

2005-08-19T09:04:00.000+02:00

It is getting a little chilly around blogland for me at the moment. My best friend James has moved back from Dubai to the paradise city of Stoke and is pretending to work so hard there expanding his company's business in Eastern Europe that he barely graces my blog these days. In one foul swoop, I lost both my ability to claim that my blog was being read as far away as Dubai and my hit counter stopped increasing on a daily basis. My little brother, Mark is busy hosting an event for his company, see (http://www.pensthorpe.co.uk) and once he is back, he goes straight into another event. He barely has time for his dog and chickens, not to mention visiting his bother's site. And then there is Bear, always a safe bet for either a sarcastic comment or two, or a direct challenge to add to my bruise collection at Ju-jutsu. Even he seems to have gone on to better things... :-(

But, all is not lost. A warm welcome to my dear friend Annabella, choosing to swallow the red pill all the way from Washington. Glad to have you here babe! And then there is Åsa, a friend of ours, who is just about to graduate as a nurse. It was Åsa's birthday yesterday. And then of course there is Theresa, newly found in blog cyberspace. Theresa's blog (see 'It's all about ME' in my links) attracted me as she has the courage to look life's challenges in the face. And last, but by no means least, there is Jodie (see 'Blissful Days and Soulful Cascades'). Jodie's blog is a must to read each and every day. Not only does Jodie represent for me the 'modern lady' (yes, I will define this upon request), she is also tuned into the world in a way that most of us have forgotton. If you want to see the power of simple pleasures, if you want to see synchronicity and intuition at work, if you want to see someone living life with a fire raging in her belly, if you want to learn; then grab a coffee and read Jodie's site. For my female readers, she also has a regular 'hunk of the week' with rather fine specimens of manhood (although she hasn't featured me there...yet ;-)... and for the icing on the cake, I received my first comment spam today. Many thanks to Tony867 for providing me with an insighful guide to the investment opportunities and commodity prices of wood and aluminium!

It's Friday, so I decided to get to know all of my readers a little better by giving you a little quiz. I might, if I can remember, make it a regular thing, with a couple of questions each week, so I can get to know you better and you can get to know one another. You can post your answers in my comments box...

Question 1: Who is you hero(s) and why?
Question 2: If you could have three wishes, what would they be?
Question 3: If you could eat anything you want right now, what would you eat and who would cook it?
Question 4: When you read this (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news
/england/london/4163314.stm) how does it make you feel?
Question 5: If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

I can see you...

2005-08-17T08:35:00.000+02:00

We went for the last of our 'official' scans yesterday, where they check that hopefully the baby has turned and where they check important measurements like head and torso diameter and give an estimated birth weight.

Everything went well. The doctor was very satisfied with how things are looking and our little baby is already in head down position and is estimated at a healthy 3,5kg at birth. For those of you who want to know, it was unavoidable not to see that our little baby will in fact be a baby boy. This we knew earlier, but they wanted to check it once more to be sure as things can be confusing when they are developing. So confusing infact that someone whom one of Ellie's friends knew got the early indications that they were going to have a boy and decorated the whole baby room for a boy, only to find that he had miraculously changed to a she, by the time the last scan was made! Anyway, in our case there he was and there 'they' were. What can I say? He made me proud! - So, as he was being uncooperative and refused to show his face, we came back with a partial picture of his face, obscured by his arms and then, for some reason, the doctor also decided to give us a detailed picture of his balls! So there you go. A Boy.

We went to our first pre-natal course on Monday, where, with the help of a model baby, a plastic pelvis and a life-size placenta cushion and fabric umbilical chord, we went through what happens under a normal delivery, what complications can occur and what they do then. Despite the fact that Ellie is due on October 1st, the 'normal' range for birth spans over 4 weeks, 2 weeks ahead of due date through to two weeks after due date. So, with Ellie's due date being in around 6 weeks time, around about 4 weeks from now, we need to have the bag packed and waiting by the door, the car full of fuel and some spare change for the parking meters!

In the meantime, we can expect contractions to occur as the womb starts practising, plenty of massages to help Ellie relax, plenty of cushions to help her sit and sleep with some degree of comfort, pasta to build up a store of carbohydrates for the big day and loads of spinach, dried apricots and nuts to hike up her iron values. I have become a Master of Spinach, doing spinach salads, spinach pastas, spinach omlettes, spinach soup. I think that by the time we have the little one home, neither Ellie or I will want to see a spinach leaf again in quite a while.

As for me, I am getting ready in my own way. I feel that what will happen soon will change my life unalterably. I will be initiated if not from boy to man, then definately from man to MAN. I will become a father and instincts deep inside me will wake-up and come to the surface. I will be the same person, but not the same person. I am trying to 'educate' myself now on how I can best support Ellie during these last few weeks. I am reading everything I can on the delivery process, so I understand what is going on and can concentrate myself on helping Ellie and that I have some idea how I can help. I am reading about the first year and practical things like what temperature bath water should be, how to comfort him, how best to hold him. Before Ellie went into hospital, I was afraid of the little baby. The sheer vulnerability and the responsibility on us as we brought the little tyke home for the first time. Then, whilst Ellie was in hospital, in the maternity ward, we were surrounded by new-borns and I gradually started to feel less scared and more ready. It is like the father in me started off as a small scared little boy. Unconfident and insecure in his role and now, over time, has turned into something more solid. I am going to be a Father and I am ready.

Wearing my spirit

2005-08-15T08:44:00.000+02:00

Bone carvings have always been highly meaningful within Maori culture as bone is the building block of the skeleton and the material itself thus becomes the building block of life. It is imbued with the spirit of its carrier and its carver and, over time, as the bone slowly turns from bleached white to honey-coloured with the body oils of its wearer, it becomes imbued with their spirit too.

The different shapes of the carvings carry different meanings and significances. For instance, the traditional hook design, or Hei-matua represents abundance, strength and protection, especially over water. The koru or spiral represents new beginnings, purity and spirituality. The belief is that a carving given and received with love and worn with respect, transfers its power to the wearer and in return the wearer shares his/her spirit with the carving. These carvings were then passed through generations, bearing with them the spirits of the ancestors and they became Taonga, powerful and precious treasures. To follow tradition a carving should be given and received with love as opposed to being purchased by the intended wearer.

As you may know from a previous post, my much treasured carving broke earlier this year and I was upset, as I believe in my carvings spiritual dimension, and, in a way that is hard to describe (especially to a bunch of sceptics ;-) feel that since wearing my carving, I have taken an extra element into myself and my life has been positively influenced.

...anyway, to cut a long story short, I sent my carving back and the artist, Lilach Paul, incorporated the centre-piece from my old carving into a new carving, enabling my to have the continuity that I wanted. Last week, I finally received my new carving and am both happy and relieved to be wearing it again. My carving is a one-off and is called 'The Union'. It represents union, protection, strength and love and, as the Hei-matu is enclosed in a larger structure, it also represents insight and connection to the bigger picture or to something greater than myself.

If any of you reading this feel that a carving would be a nice gift for someone special or indeed, feel that you need to persuade someone special to give a carving to you, I can thoroughly recommend looking at the following site: http://www.boneart.co.nz

They have standard carvings and then a gallery of one-off custom carvings from several talented artists. Don, the owner, is absolutely excellent and really helpful and you can mail him if you have any questions or if you have a design of your own that you would like carved.

A touch of magic in our everyday lives

2005-08-12T13:22:00.000+02:00

* Warning, comments on Harry Potter & The Half-Blood Prince to follow *

I know I am behind the times, but there was a problem with my Amazon order of Harry Potter due to arrive on the very date of release, but not released to me as I had been sent a new credit card from UK the month before and, as it could only be activated in UK, had not yet activated it. The net result is that my old card defaulted when they tried to charge me and I never got my book! This is where my lovely Mum steps up to the rescue, buys the book, reads it and then sends it out with Mark.

So, on tuesday I read the book from cover to cover. Each page was a subtle mixture of pleasure and pain. Pleasure from the story and from the culmination of waiting and pain from the fact that each page brought me closer to the end of the book. Now it is over and I am gutted. I have to wait God knows how long until the final book comes out.

And what did I think? ... well, the book is in my humble opinion a masterful game of chess. Not a lot really happened in the 500 odd pages, but the story was still gripping enough to keep me from eating for most of the day. Now, at the end, all the pieces have been assembled for a thrilling final, without leaving the reader with any real clue about what will happen. Sure, there are certain inevitable conclusions to be drawn. Harry will meet Voldermort. Ron and Hermione will play a role and Snape & Malfoy will be there too, but what will happen and how... well, I almost feel pissed off about having to wait. Good work, Ms. Rowling.

I hate it when that happens though, when I get so wrapped-up in a series that I am actually sad when it finally finishes. I was the same with Robin Hobbs books about the Fool & the Liveship Traders. I was the same with the Matrix trilogy, Lord of the Rings and have been the same with Star Wars despite the fact that the last three films were a disappointment. I can't wait to read the final instalment of Harry Potter, but I know that each page I turn will be bittersweet as the story and the characters slowly come to an end. Then stop.

J.K.Rowlings success has been well documented, but what is interesting is 'what is it about Harry Potter that appeals to so many, both young and old?' In some ways, she plays on age-old themes, the same that sit behind Star Wars, or the Lord of the Rings, namely the ancient battle between good and evil. Then there is the elevation of a 'normal' person. The chance for someone who is to all appearances 'normal' to be special, to be a hero. Not only that, but the other people around him are also special too, in their own way. Hidden in there is the hope that we are also a chosen one, and that all of us, in our own ways, are special. After that comes, of course, the attraction of the world of magic, especially in today's world where science seeks to explain everything and modern materialism cheats us into thinking we have our own unique identity when we just want what everyone else wants and few will ever get. Through all that comes magic. Who amongst us wouldn't like to be able to do 'magic'. Conjure-up a doughnut when we are feeling hungry, enhance our bust or crotch line before a big night out ;-) or look out the window and sigh as the Porsche gleams in the driveway and our nemesis wakes-up with a bad case of the runs. Harry Potter provides a break from the ordinary, a fight between good and evil where the good finally wins out and a touch of magic to provide a welcome break from everyday reality. Just what we need going into the weekend...

A visit, a busy boy and a wedding anniversary

2005-08-10T09:14:00.000+02:00

Good morning fellow bloggers and readers, it is about time that I reported in and offered-up something for your coffee breaks!

Well, where to start? We had a great long weekend with Mark & Anna. True to form when you have guests, the weather was remarkably bad, with some low temperatures and rain; just perfect for showing people around and showing a new country at its best. Despite that, we managed to have some lazy breakfasts, did some shopping and some walking and we did see one of the beaches we normally go to, but only I went swimming. Then, as is typical for these visits, after it seemed like we had only just picked them up, it was time to drive to the airport again. Sad, but everyone had a good time. It is funny to think that next time I see my brother, he will be an uncle.

Mark & Anna's departure also kind of signalled the end of my holidays too. Although technically I still have 2 1/2 weeks to go, things get pretty serious from here on in. The ju-jutsu terms started this week, my exercise routines started too and I am reading my university books in earnest. I was at a trainer's meeting for my swimming yesterday and the new term starts the week after next. This term I will be doing a mixture of baby swim, mini swim and swim school, so it will be a bit of a variety. Next week and the following week, I will be working and this friday, I complete my consultancy assignment together with a small ad agency here in town. Then that's it, the summer holidays are over and term starts.

It is funny really how you move in and out of routines. Sitting here, I start to wonder how I will fit it all in during the Autumn, what with studying full time, working, training ju-jutsu, exercising, time for Ellie and time for friends and not to mention in due course the effects of an additional bundle of joy, but somehow I know that I will. Somehow the weeks will become more structured; somehow I will get more out of 5 minutes than I do now. It feels like a ball that uses the angle of a curve to gather momentum and then slings itself down its trajectory with even greater speed. These next few weeks are the curve and I hit the straight line on Monday 29th August.

Today is also Ellie and my 3rd wedding anniversary. 3 years ago and 150km north of here, we got married. 8 years and 3 months ago and 1400km south of here, we first met. So, on this, our 3rd wedding anniversary, I would like to offer a little poem that I wrote:

I wish that I had given this to you on our wedding day

If every moment consists of
a thousand different choices,
and if each choice,
unmade,
leads to a thousand possible futures,
then once
in that moment then,
I made a choice,
which stopped the wheel of all possible futures
on this one.
Which became now,
which became you.
And by choosing you,
now,
I acknowledge my past,
my present
and choose again,
my future.

This evening...

2005-08-04T07:25:00.000+02:00

... my kid brother (pictured above) and his lurvley girlfriend, Anna, will finally get here and my long wait will come to an end. I feel like a kid that only has a few hours to go before it's 'ok' to wake-up Mum & Dad and rip open your stocking presents on the end of their bed, whilst they desperately scramble for coffee! We have got what I hope will be a fun long weekend planned and it should give us a good opportunity to catch-up, chill out and for Anna to see something of where we live (although I promise, Anna, that the weather is not normally this bad and I am once again, seriously considering emigrating to Hawaii!)

In the meantime, there are things to do and people to see. Based on the recommendation of the photographer I have been working with, as he was most impressed with my professional demeanour and natural talent, I have once again been called to offer my services as a glove model this morning. So whilst you are reading this at work or at home, I will be posing my heart out under bright lights being photographed with a Hasselblad no less!

Well, must dash, as for some un-godly reason, work over here starts at 08:00 instead of 09:00 and I need to be at the studio in time to compose myself for the morning's work ;-)

Have a great one guys and girls, I know I will!

Thinking about what is possible and what isn't

2005-08-03T08:50:00.000+02:00

I received part of my brother's birthday present through the post yesterday and it made me happy. It was a book of poems by a young poet called Mattie Stepanek , called 'Heartsongs' .

Mattie's poems reflect his youth in that they are simple, yet their message points time and time again to those very aspects of life that we overlook in our headstrong pursuit of whatever. His poems are a reminder to stop and look around us, a reminder to count our blessings and a reminder of the pleasures that can be gained from the simple things in life. Mattie writes with an incredible feeling for the power and pleasure of life in this moment and of the necessity for each of us to discover or re-discover our 'Heartsongs' and share them with others.

Mattie was awarded the Melinda Lawrence International Book Award for his poetry and has five published volumes of poetry to his name. This poetry is in the House of Congress and he was an avid keynote speaker all over America and a goodwill ambassador for the Muscular Dystrophy Association, a black belt in the Korean martial art of Hapkido and a philosopher with a mission to remind the world that life is a gift.

Mattie died last year aged 13 as he suffered from dysautonomic mitochondrial myopathy, a form of muscular dystrophy that had already claimed the lives of his two older brothers and his older sister. The disease meant that most of the bodily functions that we take for granted such as digestions, walking, regulating our body temperature and breathing were difficult for him. He was wheelchair bound and was on a respirator 24 hours a day. I believe that Mattie is a case of an old soul being in a young body with the purpose of teaching us something. In Mattie's case, it is to inspire us all to count our blessings, treat every day as special and to re-evaluate what we believe is possible or impossible to achieve in our lives.

I would like to share on of Mattie's poems here with you today (and hope that Mattie, his Mom or his publishers don't mind)...

Summer Rememberies by Mattie Stepanek

After everyone has
A smoky cookout at Chip's house,
And the grown-ups make
Music on their guitars for singing and dancing,
And the children take
Off their shoes and run
Around the backyard catching
Lightning bugs in the dark -
Then, it is a very good time to be
Happy.
And that 'then' is
A very good time and
A very good feeling to remember
Ever-after.

A new month...

2005-08-01T23:28:00.000+02:00

It is the beginning of a new month and what do I have to report to you my dear readers.

Today is the first day that my new mobile contract kicked in! This represents a failure on my behalf. Having left the corporate reality of picking a new phone from a list once a year and over to my second dose of student reality, where the phone I had was practically a wind-up and dial, I have launched vivaciously into the art of 'Mobdo' - Japanese for 'The Way of the Mobile', also known as the art of scrounging once-used mobiles from others. Yes, all my working friends knew that once they swapped mobiles, rather than consign their old one to the desk drawer; it would find a welcome and warm home at my place. - I had a total of 3 mobiles promised to me and only a maximum of 3 months to wait until I had really quite a decent mobile in my grasp, free of charge. But no, last week, my old mobile finally died and I gave up the chase and brought a new one. My attempts to resist rampant materialism have failed. My attempts to summon monk-like patience have also failed. I am a bad person.

Today I began to read my first textbook for next term. It is Gidden's classic tome on Sociology. My reasoning is thus... sometime between now and a 4 hour essay-based exam, a combination of the following will happen. I need to put 1000 pages of information into my head and need to be able to use it to write one or two salient essays. My life will change with the birth of my first child. So, using my immense intelligence, I decided that each and every page I can read between now and the start of the term will be to my advantage! So, today being the 1st August, I learnt about the definition of Sociology, the major protagonists and a brief outline of key terms such as 'functionalism' 'conflict-based society' and 'symbolic interactionism'.

Today I went to the doctors as during the weekend, my asthma got worse and woke me at night. This was then followed by a panic attack, where my blood pressure dropped, I was covered in a cold sweat, my extremities went cold as the blood flowed to my torso, I was light headed, shivering uncontrollably and vomiting. Not a pretty picture and one that I need to fight on a conscious level as right now, this Monday evening, I am afraid to go to bed. I guess that the cortisone-based steroids must have kicked-in by now and I have the entire 5th episode of The Simpsons' just in case I can't sleep.

This month, I will begin working again as a swimming instructor for babies from the age of 3 months upwards to 2 and kids from 2 to 8. I will also work for a week in an accounting department, inserting date into a database for ease-of-accounting and I will learn how to manage the busy reception at the same company that I worked as a photo-model for. They get an average of 700 calls a day, so that will be an interesting learning experience. I will also conclude my consultancy project where I have been helping a small advertising agency in Malmö re-work their business plan and re-position themselves. August 29th, the university term kicks-off again with Sociology and Social-Politics!

This month, ju-jutsu starts up again after the summer schedule in our fantastic new dojo (see the pictures at www.mjjk.com - then choose 'bilder' from the top menu and scroll down to the bottom of the page and choose 'lokalen 050728') Included in the Autumn schedule are two morning sessions, on Tuesday and Friday mornings from 06:30-07:30. Ellie recons that I will not go to any of them. How many do you think I will go to? I will be working together with my training partner and the clubs esteemed Chairman 'Bear' towards my Green belt this term. Just before we broke for summer, we graded up to orange in what is reputed to be one of the most brutal gradings that the club has hosted (pictures can be found at www.mjjk.com/bilder/gradering till gult och orange 050522) We will see what happens when we step-up to grade to green. It kind of reminds my of Bachman Turner Overdrive's anthem 'You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet'. We have an open day this weekend, so Mark and Anna can come along and see me in action. Lucky them!

Today it is 3 days until my beloved brother and his wonderful girlfriend, Anna come out here to visit us. Go on, just hazard a guess as to whether or not I am excited!

One small step at a time

2005-07-27T17:25:00.000+02:00

It is a hard thing for me to describe the sheer joy I experienced when Ellie came home from some shopping today. Since getting pregnant this time, she hasn't dared to go out and buy anything for the baby, as she was afraid that it would be tempting fate, some kind of bad omen; and with everything that has gone on after the first two miscarriages, it has been a tough struggle this far.

Today, she came in and her eyes were sparkling as she indicated a plastic bag to me and shyly announced that she had brought something for the baby. The combination of joy and vulnerability in her eyes made my heart lurch inside me. She then unfolded the cute, tiny tiny clothes pictured above and we sat there together on the sofa looking at the first clothes our little baby will wear.

Since Ellie became pregnant, I have been afraid of the moment when we bring the tiny little baby home from the relative safety of the hospital. I believe I felt afraid because I felt unprepared. Now, somewhere deep and strong inside me, I feel absolutely ready.

On a lighter note, I got my university timetable last week only to discover that the day before the baby is due, I have a 4-hour written exam based on 1000 pages of material! Game on!

Ozymandius

2005-07-26T08:38:00.000+02:00

Look at this... I go away for a while and you begin to raise statues in my honour!

Seriously though, Ellie and I have been overwhelmed by the kindness and concern from all around us. In the middle of all the confusion, everyone has pulled together around us and the love and support can provide you energy when your own is lacking. So a big THANK-YOU to all of your for your messages and actions over the last few days, it really has been appreciated.

... And so, at this end, life continues. The last few days have been a bit of an emotional roller coaster as the various specialist doctors diagnosed, conferred and re-diagnosed. We have moved from 23:00 of Friday night where they were going to go in and operate on Saturday morning, where they needed to give the baby cortisone to help speed-up the development of its lung function, then brycanyl to relax the placenta and thereby decrease the chance of premature contractions and delivery. Then because brycanyl increases blood flow, they needed to administer another drug to help them control the bleeding as they operated. Basically that the diagnosis was reasonably routine in non-pregnant women, but very rare in pregnant women and after the operation, we were to prepare ourselves for the possibility of our baby being born prematurely, which was ok, but frankly ' not such a good thing' at week 30! - Now, Ellie is back home with me and we are scheduled to go back in for ultra-sound and check-ups again next week. They have finally come to the conclusion that Ellie doesn't require emergency surgery and that, with careful follow-up and with Ellie resting at home, things should be able to proceed as normal. Relief! When I got Ellie home on Sunday afternoon, I tucked her comfortably up in the sofa with the phone so she could begin ringing around her friends, then I went upstairs and slept the sleep on the innocent, until it was time to wake-up and drive to her parents for dinner.

So, we will be lying low for a bit. We have food in the fridge and a pile of DVD's to watch and I expect to have a day or two's peace before Ellie recovers her wits sufficiently to begin pointing her finger and my 'to do' list will increase exponentially.

In the meantime, I will keep posting alongside the much appreciated posts of my bestest brother, so that y'all have something to read about in your coffee breaks and I can puff myself up and strut like a funky rooster with the thought that as far away as Dubai, you want to read about little old me!

Thanks again for all your support and kind words... now it is time for me to get a cup of coffee and welcome this new day in the correct manner.

Tough lead to follow

2005-07-25T14:11:00.000+02:00

I was very touched last week when my brother asked me on the phone if I would like to be a guest blogger on his site whilst he went a way on holiday to relax and unwind. I have to say that their was a pause and it wasn’t anything to do with the fact that it was a distant phone call it was because I was hurriedly weighing up whether I could live up to what Paul does. I have decided to do it but as this will be coming from the wildes of Norfolk dont expect the wizadery that Paul uses. Just text from me I am afraid....

Like many of you I enjoy logging onto Pauls site and reading what he has been up to in the last 24 hours. I think my main reason for this is because I miss having the daily contact with some one who I have a very deep and special relationship with. As James said after a period of absence from Paul it was good to have him back as he missed reading on what he had been up to in the last 24 hours. Well I totally echo those thoughts.

I have found Paul a great source of inspiration as he turned against the flow and him and Ellie made the life changing decision for him to go back to university for him to study in a field which has an interest. Even more amazing is that they made this decision and he is not totally sure it is what he wants to do but you have to take risks and follow your heart. Many people just go with it and get caught in the trap of not really enjoying what they are doing but doing nothing about it and it takes a great strength of character to stand up and say ‘nope I ain’t doing it any more’ and instead listening to what your heart and mind are telling you and in most cases taking a risk. Many of us quite often are good at what we have be trained to do or studied to do but in most cases that doesn’t mean that that is what you really want to do and so many of us never really follow our calling but rather suppress it because it is the easy way out. Well Paul hasn’t and I think all of us who are dissatisfied with any aspect of our life, which lets face it is probably all of us, should take a leaf out of his book. I am very proud to call him my brother and to stand by him whilst he finds his way.

Pauls decision also goes along way to show the strength of the relationship he has with his wife Ellie. Again I think we all should learn something from that. Paul said something to me once and I have never forgotten it. With all relationships you have to work at them every day and when you stop doing that then that is when things start going wrong – in other words you get stuck in a rut. I have never seen Paul happier and I am sure that a huge amount of that comes from the gorgeous lady he married and I am very grateful Paul went to Germany and met Ellie.

Which brings me back to what I started talking about first. I was thrilled to be asked but as I hope has come across I feel I have a huge amount to live up to. But with the developments over the weekend I am I am going to give it a go. I have seen that today Paul has been making entries to the site and I am not going to stop him but I want to give him the option as he needs to concentrate on Ellie and himself.

Paul and Ellie anyone who knows you is thinking about you. I for one am working very hard on the worm hole to enable to get myself that little bit nearer so we can share a pint when times are hard. For the moment thought I am always only a phone call away.

Home again, home again...

2005-07-24T13:14:00.000+02:00

After two sleepless nights, having just started to get used to hospital life and getting used to finding a red thread in the melée of doctor's explanations and diagnoses, I am pleased to report that Ellie and I are back home again. From here on in, it looks as if she will be at home and is to take it easy and then we will go in for tight and regular follow-up from here through to delivery. After having to prepare ourselves for an operation on Friday night that wasn't without its risks, it feels fantastic to be home again, as at this stage, each and every day we can keep the little one safe in Mummy's tummy, counts for a lot.

So we are home again and hopefully, with the exception of the check-ups that will follow this, the next time we are there, we will go in again as a couple and come out as a family.

And then, out of no-where, life throws you a left hook

2005-07-22T23:47:00.000+02:00

The meaning was to go camping with some friends and to chill out by a lake fishing and take the occassional sip of decent whisky.

The reality was that I spent the day in hospital with Ellie, where her persistant stomach aches had become too much. This time she was taken seriously and three hours after being admitted we were talking with a surgical team of three specialists. The result is at some stage they will probably have to operate and this could result in the premature birth of our baby. It breaks my fucking heart.

The result is that I will blog sporadically as I come home to sleep.

You know you have been living too long in Sweden, when...

2005-07-20T15:00:00.000+02:00

I joked for a while when I first got over here that Swedish women choose their men based on how handy they are at assembling IKEA furniture. They kind of flash their deep blue eyes and give a 'if you even think you have a chance with me, that cupboard, matching wall unit and TV bench had better be assembled before I get home from seeing the girls.' Yes Mam!

Yesterday though, I realised that I had been in Sweden too long as I looked down at the unopened box lying challengingly at my feet, then I actually cracked my neck from side to side, cracked my knuckles and said out loud 'Oh yeah! Bring it on, bitch!' (with strong tonality on the word 'on' and bitch naturally pronounced beeehach!)

Yesiree, I cracked my joints as I lumbered up for the challenge and actually spoke those words out-loud in my own empty house. Nuff said.

Needless to say, I flexed my weapons of war, namely a octagonal Allen key, a Phillips screw-driver, a rubber mallet, a Stanley knife and a hammer and just under an hour later, the contents of the box had been magnificently transformed into the cupboard that now sits in the hallway, which replaces the chest of drawers, which has gone upstairs ready for baby clothes. Behold its magnificence!

The remainder of this afternoon will be spent putting transparent anti-slip tape on our stairs so Ellie and I don't slip when we are carrying our precious bundle, then I am going outside to get some fresh air, don my rucksack and walk 10km or so to get myself ready for Friday.

(and what is happening on Friday, I hear you ask? Well, you will just have to tune in again tomorrow to find out...)

'Builder Bob'

2005-07-19T09:59:00.000+02:00

I feel a bit like Builder Bob, only that my machines and tools don't talk back to me! Once I had put the second coat of paint on the garden gate, tidied-up and put my tools away, I looked in satisfaction at a job well done... only to notice that the grouting mixture that I have been using to fill in the holes in the wall, is a few shades lighter than the rest of the wall... and so it stands out... and so it looks as if my wall has been patched-up... which it has! It is one of those things, which once noticed is hard to ignore again. I am probably going to give it a week or so and see if it weathers and gets darker, but deep inside I think I already know that the problem was that my mixture must have been too dry.

All of this reminds me of a quote from one of the famous Zen masters about purpose and decisions. He said, 'either stand-up, or sit down; but don't wobble.' - basically decide one way or the other and then be resolute and act. (and no, James, this isn't aimed at you ;-)

So, tomorrow, if there is a break in the rain, I will get the ladder out again, scare myself by climbing to great heights, scrape off all of my grout work, make a much more liquid blend and then re-fill the gaps. I will then clean and put my tools away once more and sweep the verandah and steps once more and then be thankful for the lesson I have learnt. And what lesson may that be? I hear you asking. Hmmm, the lesson is that I now know what properly mixed grout should look and feel like.

On the subject of grout and grouting, as I was working on the wall the first time, taking my mix up with me, scraping it out of the bucket and onto the wall, the handyman who is working on our roof came round. As I came down the ladder to collect some more of my (too dry) mixture, he looked at me and gave me the old 'you don't want to do it like that, you want to do it like this, my boy' talk, then disappeared to his van. When he returned, he had a plastic thing that you use for icing cakes. He quickly blended-up a mixture, shimmied up the steps and did twice as much in 10 minutes than I had in the previous 2 hours! As they say, 'when the pupil is ready, the teacher will arrive.'

All I can say is that when I have to grout again next year, I will be able to do it so quickly that it won't even be worth writing about in my blog.

Bees, lavender and adult holidays

2005-07-15T11:00:00.000+02:00

Today I will mainly be... busy cementing in the holes in the wall at the back and front of the house, that, for some reason, bees like making. They just fly in, drill around for a bit and then fly off again. Then I get my ladder out, mix-up a batch of cement, feel my knees shake as I climb 8 metres up into the air and fill the hole in again.

Yesterday was more painting. Oh yes, once the verandah had been painted, then of course the white paint around the glass needed touching up. From that comes the interesting point of 'contrast'. You touch-up the white paint in one area, then another area near by, also painted white, suddenly looks shabby in comparison. So you paint that too, and just above it, you see a white windowsill, which was never bad before, but suddenly with everything else in pristine white, it too is looking a bit dirty, so you paint that and then see... Yes, in this way I floated around the garden with a white paint brush and paint tin all day, a little bit like the way a moth floats around a lightbulb. I also finally put a wooden border around our lavender bed. It used to be a rose bed, but they were too much work and were frankly looking a bit shabby, so last year, I pulled them all out and planted lavender instead. I was a bit worried as I planted late in the season, but I bedded and insulated the plants with bark mulch and they survived winter and are really doing well now. So, that's another job off my list, only got to tidy the verandah, put anti-slip tape on the stairs, sort out a baby room, re-do the hallway... I guess that this is an 'adult vacation' but I kind of miss those holidays where you actually had enough time on your hands that you could get bored!

Collecting adult points

2005-07-14T08:40:00.000+02:00

As if turning 30 wasn't enough, last week, we made a decision to collect even more 'adult points' by going out and buying a pram. Being a typical man, I obviously don't possess that interesting aspect of the maternal instinct that lets you know that prams need to be purchased long in advance. I thought you could walk into the shop and by them. Luckily Ellie 'knew' that this wasn't the case! Very lucky in fact as the waiting and delivery time for a new pram, given that it is now the summer holidays for Swedish industry so the factories shut down, is around 3 months! 3 months. The guy in the shop actually told us that we should really order during the week to be certain of getting the make, model and colour that we wanted!

So, we walk into the pram shop and there is a dazzling array of prams in all conceivable shapes sizes and designs. There were seriously a LOT of prams. Ellie and I looked at one another and wondered just where we should start, at which point a kind salesperson, spotting our obvious cluelessness, comes to our rescue:
- 'Are you looking for a combi, a duo, a nova or a sport? Do you want a hard lift or a soft lift? Do you want air filled wheels or solid, fully rotational or fixed? Reconfigurable carriage unit or stationary?'
- 'I am sorry', I answered, 'I don't work for NASA and I didn't realise that this was a car salesroom.'

After much explaining and trying, we finally narrowed it down to one of two sorts of pram, but then comes the question of which brand? One of the brands is currently popular with the rich and famous, two of the other brands are traditional stalwarts of Swedish industry, stable, safe, reliable and just a little bit boring, and the fourth brand is a newcomer. Well designed, innovative, interesting... but can it be trusted to carry our baby?... Maybe it can, but can it fit in the back of our car? Can I fold it down and unfold it, or reverse the carriage unit without needing a Masters Degree in Advanced Structural Engineering?

Eventually we choose our pram, pictured above (colour different from the one featured) and it will be ready for me to collect the day after our baby is born. As we forked out the downpayment on the £600 that the pram costs, we got our first idea of just how much this little baby is going to change our lives.

Hot, hot, hot!

2005-07-11T23:22:00.000+02:00

Sorry about the absence of posts over the last week or so. For one reason or the other, last week was both tough and long and thus I had no real inspiration to write about anything really. Matters weren’t helped by the bombing in London.

I will try to get back into my rhythm again this week. To follow-up from my post before my birthday post, I finally finished putting the second coat on the veranda fence today. It was a hot day here, but as I was painting, I thought that the pain was drying a little too quickly. I stuck a thermometer behind me as I was working and when I looked at it a few minutes later, it was registering 43 degrees! No wonder that I was breaking a light forehead sweat as I worked!

Tomorrow and Wednesday, I will be working with a small advertising agency here in town, acting as an advisor and helping them re-work their business plan in order to help them better adapt to the changes in the industry in general. This will be my first time acting as an advisor, so it should be an interesting experience. I’ll let you know how we get on!

Today, I am 30!

2005-07-03T09:04:00.000+02:00

Normally when you celebrate your birthday, people come up to you with a sly smile and ask you how it feels to be 25 or 35 or whatever, and truthfully, you feel no different. You feel elated maybe due to the occasion, but otherwise it is just another day, significant only because somewhere, the sand in your hourglass runs past a marker.

Some people try to hold this passing of time at a distance and a birthday reminds them of its inevitability. Sort of 'oh no, I am 35, that means I am as close to 40 as I am to 30!' I like to use a birthday, rather like New Year's Day, as a way marker, a reminder to listen to that sand roaring through my hourglass. Listening to the roar of the sand, the sound of time passing and watching the granules of sand on the slope slowly slide down and through the gap is a form of awareness meditation and enables you to take stock of things. I am a year older, where am I on my path? Who am I? Am I doing what I want with my life?

More importantly, by being able to face the sound of time passing, you realise that another day has gone by, and suddenly you are filled with an acute awareness of life's preciousness. The average human heart beats for 600,000 hours.

Your personal power consists of taking responsibility for your life and your choices and of taking action. You can change anything you want in your life and any time. The combination of all three of these factors is what strategic living is about. Strategic living is an awareness of my 600,000 hours, taking responsibility that where I am today is a result of the choices I have made in the past, and the taking of right action to ensure that I choices I make today and congruent with the path I want my life to follow.

I am 30 years old this morning. Over the last 2 years, I have turned my life around, stopped sleepwalking and have put myself in the driving seat. In short, I am living strategically. My 30th birthday present to myself is that I am living the life I want to live. I can look on this day and not feel the slightest trace of regret or panic. I am happier than I have been in ages, I am on the path to do what I want to do, I am surrounded by a fantastic loving wife, and great family and friends and later this year, will hold our first baby in my arms. There is a fire in my belly.

My birthday gift to all of you reading this is to take this way marker, my 30th birthday, and use it to remind you of your way markers. Not your birthday, but that fact that it is Sunday 3rd of July, another day in your life. I ask you to sit down and just take 5 precious minutes to consider the following: Look your 600,000 hours in the face, listen carefully to the sound of time passing and somewhere inside you, you will know what questions you need to ask and what you need to do.

Back to grassroots!

2005-07-01T16:00:00.000+02:00

I know, I know, I am late with my blog again today. But I have a reason... having left my high glamour life as a glove model behind me (for a while) I have spent this morning at another company learning the Jeeves accounting and invoicing system. Oh yes, I haven't got a top degree in international business management for nothing, you know.
It is back to grassroots for this boy and every morning next week, I will be processing invoices, sorting the post and will be available as an in-house resource for the marketing department.

Yesterday was also a back to grassroots day. I was busy in our own garden, getting ready for the evenings jujutsu by re-living the words of a classic treatise in strategy, second only to Miyamoto Mushashi's Book of Five Rings, namely the teachings of Mr. Miyagi. Yep, I was hard at work with 'sand the fence Daniel-san' and then following up with 'paint the fence.'

It was a good job that I did as yesterday's session in the dojo was a hard mixture of aerobic training, interspersed with some interesting throwing techniques, in 32 degree heat!

So, I am going to sign off now, wish you all a good weekend, expect for James who starts his working week again tomorrow morning, so welcome back James! I am about to take Dom's advice and get stuck into a bottle of merlot and converse with Ellie and 'the Bump'.

-----------------------Paul has left the building-----------------------

Model for a day

2005-06-30T09:00:00.000+02:00

I am off out soon for another half day of modelling. I was out for the whole day on Tuesday, doing 'on-location' shots. Our first stop was a town about 15km from Malmö where they are building some really nice new houses. This was for the 'construction site' shot. So I get togged up in a brown flannel shirt and a pair of working trousers with reinforced kneepads and plenty of extra pockets for your hammer, nails and screwdrivers. The problem was that the trousers were huge on my and without my belt lashed tightly around them, they literally dropped to my ankles causing the ladies I was working with much amusement. I got a bit worried at this stage because I thought that this may be part of the plot, something along the lines of my too big trousers fall down and then, enter stage left, another model with a special pair of rubber gloves of the type worn by customs officers... but no. I had to don my workman's gloves and hold a carpenter's ruler and then they took pictures of the gloves, capturing some of the top of the trousers and the shirt, with a soft, blurred building site in the background. Very nice.

From here it was off to the coast, a lovely little town called Höllviken, where they have a nice white sand beach and then just behind it a wood of wind and salt twisted pine trees that all look like giant bonsais. Here was the setting for the forest shots, with the aim to capture a feeling of autumn up in Northern Sweden. So, in 25-degree sunshine, I got dressed in a pair of thick winter trousers and a thick woollen jacket and pulled on a pair of winter warm gloves and then waddled into the forest to find a suitable tree for the shooting. After many photos requiring me to stand or sit in some rather uncomfortable positions with branches sticking where they shouldn't, we finally got a good couple of pictures with the gloves in the foreground, some wood and the logo from my trousers all in the same picture!

After lunch it was back to the studio to do the more 'corporate' shots. This one is to go on the front of the gloves catalogue and is basically a shot of a whole lot of gloved hands reaching, as it were, up to heaven. Enough said. This shot took a lot of time to get right as there were four of us modelling the gloves and we had to get our hands 'just so' so the gloves looked symmetrical in the picture, but not too symmetrical, so there was space between them, but not too much space and, not forgetting that you had to show off the key features of each glove without making it too obvious!

For the duration of the shoot, it is the photographer and the company that own me and my time. It is my job as the model to think about what needs to be achieved here, what is the purpose of this shot, what does the photographer want, and to try and help him find that as easily and quickly as possible. It is also my job to hold my arms in impossible positions and, as my muscles start to shake from the tension, to subdue that for long enough for the photo to be taken.

So, with my professional mindset outlined for you all, you will understand that I need to leave you now and put on my game face, ready for today's assignment... which I think is more gloves...

What is Man. Discuss?

2005-06-28T23:50:00.000+02:00

I was wondering my way through Yahoo the other day and came across this news article (http://uk.news.yahoo.com/050622/80/flr9k.html), with the following headline: Kenyan Grandfather, Aged 73, kills leopard by reaching into its mouth and ripping out its tougue.

Obviously his age is the first thing that strikes me and of course the fact that he is lucky to survive at all. But beyond that, I begin to get even more enthralled in this story. A leopard is a predatory cat weighing in at 80-100kg of solid muscle. When he was attacked by the leopard, he actually had the gall and the presence of mind to match the animal, spirit for spirit, reach into its mouth and rip its tongue out. Aged 73!

When they graduate from boyhood to manhood and wish to be initiated as Masaii warriors, the boys in a Masaii tribe traditionally had to go forth and kill a lion. For this they had three weapons, a spear, a rungu (a wooden club with a thick bulbulous head) and a spike made from the rib of a giraffe. The aim was to use the spear to inflict damage on the lion, then to get the spike into the lion's mouth, so it is wedged their, making the lion unable to open or close its mouth and then use the rungu to finish it. The prize after this, if you survive, is to return to your village with the lion's furball, a ball of swallowed fur about the size of as tennis ball that is to be found in the lion's stomach. Upon returning from this, they have proven themselves worthy and are accepted as warriors and men.

The Dinka tribe in Sudan also have elaborate rituals which conclude with the child being scarred on their cheeks and forehead with their tribal markings. If they flinch, they not only dishonour their family, but they bear the mark of a mis-shapen tatoo for all to see when their courage faltered.

I recently downloaded the Maori tribal 'haka' made famous by the All Blacks rugby team at their matches andwhen I listened to it, the sheer power of the chanting brought out goosebumps on both of my arms. (see http://www.allblacks.com/index.cfm?layout=haka) for a video of the Haka being performed ) And the Maoris have their moko or tribal tatooing, as can be seen in the picture at the top of this article.

And over here, when we attain adulthood, we get drunk and can finally pay tax. And what happens when we attain manhood? What is a man today?

I am really intetrested if those of you reading this today are brave enough to attempt to answer this question. What is Man. Discuss?

About the sky and the sea

2005-06-28T07:38:00.000+02:00

During the weekend, I found that no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't use my camera to capture the picture that was in front of me. As I sit on the balcony of my parent-in-law's summer house, I can look straight ahead through the trees and see the harbour. It is a little working fishing harbour with some fishing boats tied-up, some coming and some going and every other hour, the ferry from a nearby island chugs into the harbour to offload people and cargo. I can see the fishermen's huts, some ducks in the water and the harbour mouth.
Beyond there is the sky and the see, both stretching to a horizon, whose distance, like that of the sky and the sea, varies with the weather. The sea and the sky change constantly from grey, angry and choppy, though to a warm blue and an ocean surface as flat and clear as a polished mirror.
Despite the fact that they are ever changing, or maybe because of it, the sky and the sea are a constant and somehow a feeling of connection to something greater. They were there before me, they will be there after and the time inbetween, almost insignificant by comparison, is up to me to bring meaning to. And, with controlled folly, I endevour to do this, whilst simultaneously knowing that the significance I bring is nothing more than that of a wave moving from the horizon and then gently breaking on the beach.

And the answers are...

2005-06-27T09:00:00.000+02:00

Firstly a big thank-you to the 3 of you who attempted the quiz and for the countless others of you who stopped by and then thought 'No, he's made this too easy... there must be a catch somewhere.' and then left...

Well, onto the answers:

1.) The answer is of course B, Liv Tyler. I think that she has a genuine classic beauty and bucks the current 'look at me, I'm as brittle as a brandy snap' trend by actually daring to be feminine and curvy. So Liv's my poster girl...

2.) Again, the answer is B. Strategic Planner turning into a psychotherapist.

3.) Moving swiftly from Liv to her father, the answer here is B. Janie's got a gun by Aerosmith.

4.) Oh dear Dom, I guess I will have to get some Merlot in when you visit me, as the answer is actually C. Pinotage, with A. Shiraz being a very close runner-up.

5.) Yes, y'all got this one right, D. The adventures of Dan and Socrates will keep me amused under a star-filled sky.

6.) All are interesting and I have gone through all at one stage or another, but I am trying to simplify my life and find a solid base. Honour is very important to me and I want to roll my sleeves up now and work with service in a wider context. To move the focus from making a killing to earning a living instead. So, D is the correct answer.

7.) Yep, B. piano was guessed correctly by all. There is a piano in the hallway at school and I would love to just be able to sit there one Friday afternoon and play one of Ludovico Einaudi's compositions.

8.) James had the best explanation. Despite wanting to simplify, I want to be able to put my family + luggage + skiis into the car and still race a Porsche from the traffic lights. The BMW M5 would be the car parked outside my pad. So A is the correct answer.

9.) Urghhh, pork. Can't stand it.

10.) Yes, you got me, the answer is C and I know, I can't stop smiling about it!

So, the results: Mark and Dom score in with highly respectable 6/10's and James, in true best friend style, pips them at the post and scores in at 7/10. Well done, and Dom, I hang my head in shame and acknowledge that you are indeed, Alan Partridge!

Knowing me, knowing you. A-ha

2005-06-23T19:30:00.000+02:00

Because I scored so abysmally on 'What's Dom like' quiz and he is meant to be a friend of mine, I decided to put things to the test and come-up with one of my own. This way, I will see how well Dom does and will know if I should feel really ashamed. So, my dear readers, give it a try and see how you do, and for you Dom, game on... :)

In the tradition of Mallet's Mallet, I will explain the rules once, only once and quickly... this is a multiple choice quiz, ten questions, the person who answers the most questions correctly, can feel a genuine sense of pride at knowing such a wonderful person as me so well... ah shit, I'll come-up with something to win.

Question 1:

I was quizzed recently by a bunch of girls in my class as to which 'Hollywood star/ celebrity' I think is the most beautiful (sanitised version) and, after some thought, I answered...

a.) Cameron Diaz
b.) Liv Tyler
c.) Catherine Bell
d.) Kirsten Dunst
e.) Scarlett Johansson
f.) I don't think about that sort of thing, as I am a married man

Question 2:

In a recent life-changing move, I handed in my notice and went back to university. What did I used to do and what am I aiming to become?

a.) Business Intelligence at an Ad Agency and want to become a social worker
b.) Strategic Planner at an Ad Agency and want to become a psychotherapist
c.) Really quite famous glove model and want to become a psychoanalyst
d.) Business Intelligence at an Ad Agency and want to become a psychoanalyst
e.) Outrageously handsome daytime soap star and want to be a Buddhist monk
f.) Blind driving instructor who wants to be a garden gnome called 'Gordon'

Question 3:

My current and rather unexpected favourite track on my ipod is...

a.) Return to me - October Project
b.) Janie's got a gun - Aerosmith
c.) Nuvole Bianche - Ludovico Einaudi
d.) Have you got a fresh pair of panties on - Snoop Doggy Dog
e.) Be like that - 3 Doors Down
f.) What's my age again - Blink 182

Question 4:

I am trying to get more regular with my wine tips on the site, but if I am only allowed to take one kind of wine with me (endless supply thereof) to a desert island, which sort would I take?

a.) Shiraz
b.) Merlot
c.) Pinotage
d.) Chardonnay
e.) Cabernet Sauvignon
f.) Riesling

Question 5:

Staying with the desert island for a while as I think about it rather a lot actually when I try and work out what is important to me. If I could only take one book with me, which one would I choose?

a.) A copy of the Gideon's Bible
b.) Foucault's Pendulum - Umberto Eco
c.) Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
d.) The Way of the Peaceful Warrior - Dan Millman
e.) Mason & Dixon - Thomas Pynchon
f.) Practical Boatbuilding - George Buehler

Question 6:

Which of the following phrases are currently driving my line of thought and action?

a.) It's time you got a life instead of trying to buy into a lifestyle.
b.) In the end, all things point to God
c.) The Way itself creates the warrior
d.) Honour and Service
e.) After you have stared long enough into the dragon's eyes, there is nothing left to do but kill the dragon.
f.) The notion that I am me is like a pebble in my shoe

Question 7:

Which of the following musical instruments would I love to play so well that I could charm the pants of the ladies (not that I want to at my age or anything...)

a.) Drums
b.) Piano
c.) Violin
d.) Acoustic guitar
e.) Saxophone
f.) Bagpipes

Question 8:

Killing two birds with one stone here, both my interest in cars and what I would do if I had loads of cash. So, if I became a gazillionaire overnight, which car would I buy?

a.) BMW M5
b.) Jaguar XKR
c.) Porsche 911 S
d.) Mercedes C32 AMG
e.) BMW 330 xi
f) Volkswagen Passat Estate V6 TDI

Question 9:

We are having a large barbecue at your place, which of the following would I politely turn down:

a.) Chargrilled salmon stake
b.) Lamb chops
c.) Char-grilled chicken with a rosemary, garlic and lemon marinade
d.) Pork chops
e.) Steak marinated in Guinness
f.) Brian Pickering's Beef and Ale sausages

Question 10:

An easy one to end with... A life-changing event will be happening to me sometime in the second half of this year, something that will change me from Boy to Man and back again. What is it?

a.) The long-awaited arrival of my Star Wars Return of the Sith Lego set.
b.) The entire American Pie series on DVD
c.) Our first baby.
d.) My second university graduation.
e.) My becoming a swimming instructor for babies and young children.
f.) I will have finally become potty trained!

See how you get on, and I will come back with the answers on Monday as we will be celebrating Midsommar here over the weekend, so I will be up at the coast, drinking schnapps and leaving both my Mac and my mobile at home...

It may not be Vogue, but we have all got to start somewhere

2005-06-22T07:00:00.000+02:00

photo courtesy of www.procurator.se
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

"My hands are small, I know. But they're not yours, they are my own" - Jewel: Spirit

Today was my first day on assignment as a model. Although I was disappointed by the universal reaction of my so-called friends, which went along the lines of 'What did you say? Model? You?' snigger, snigger... I arrived at work with my head held high and my hands ready to... model industrial protective gloves!

Yep, we started off with the big stuff though. I got to model some working jackets and pose myself carefully so the camera could focus on the ventilation vents under the arms (which I assure you, in 25 degree heat and under photography lights, were well tested!) and the protective padding around the elbows.

Then it was glove time. Over 100 pairs, on and off, making sure that my hands are in the same position each and every time, to ensure that I show the glove off in the best light.

Next week, we are getting 'heavy industry' shots, on location in the city and out in the forests and so I get to put on the clothing too and more of me will be photographed!

What the hell, it is an interesting extra job, fun to add to my CV, the photographer said I was a pleasure to work with, and next time you, dear readers, see protective gloves, which are hand-shaped but not attached to a body, you can stake your claim to fame and say 'Hey, I know the guy who modelled for that!'

Riverview Gewürztraminer

2005-06-20T21:03:00.000+02:00

image courtesy of www.bottlegreen.com
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Here is the bottle of Riverview Gewürztraminer, standing alone because I haven't yet figured out of to place two images in the same posting. If you know, please don't keep this secret from me longer than is absolutely necessary.

valentinamontepulciano

2005-06-20T21:00:00.000+02:00

image courtesy of www.liquorama.net
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Ok, happy campers, it is that time of the month when I suddenly remember that if I keep taking wine out of the cellar at not putting new bottles in, then soon my cellar will be just cobwebs and empty dreams... Although the cobwebs will make a groovy Halloween grotto for kids-to-come, curling up with Ellie on a Friday evening with a bottle of empty dreams frankly doesn't sound fun.

So (and I know that you have all been waiting for this) here come my cellar recommendations for June. The juicy thing about them is that both wines are cheap, one of them should be retrieved from the cellar already next year, or if you are really impatient can be quaffed already this weekend, and the other is a keeper, maturing to its full potential sometime between 2007-2010.

Well, I won't keep you in suspense any longer... The first wine is called Riverview and is a Gew��rztraminer 2003(dry white wine) from Hungary. Typical of cold-climate Gew��rztraminers its taste is full o0f a mixture of grapefruit and exotic fruits such as lychee. The wine is perfect for summer, working well with fish, especially smoked salmon, white meat and Chinese food, or just being drunk on its own, whilst sitting in the garden in the cool of the day. The wine can be drunk as from this weekend, or, if you have the discipline, can be stored and drunk next summer too. Costs sek 55 and retails in UK for around ��3.99 at Asda, Waitrose and Sommerfields.

The second wine is a La Valentina, a 2002 Montepulciano D'Abruzzo. A red wine with deep colour, soft and spicy character with a hint of black pepper and eucalyptus, firm velvety tannins and low acidity, this wine is a keeper. Sling a couple of bottles in the cellar and the tannins will slowly soften making it a fantastic winter drinker to red meats and heavy stews. The wine will be at its best between 2007 and 2010. Wine Spectator gave it 90 out of 100 and rated it as a very well done wine.

So good friends, in the interests of public health, humour and good company, keep on drinking!

The snowball effect!

2005-06-20T18:04:00.000+02:00

Finally today, my visits counter crept-up over the 1000 mark! Finally all my visits to my own blog have paid off! It is a little bit like money making money, I figured that if it looked as if I had 'healthy' visitor numbers then people would be fooled into believing that there was something worth reading. You have no idea how many times I have read and re-read what I have written on this blog! All in the name of vanity...

Stand up and SHOUT

2005-06-17T09:50:00.000+02:00

I have just received the results of my last paper from the second part of the psychology course and found out that I have got top marks! The lecturer actually took the trouble to write to me and comment 'EXCELLENT answer!!!'

This means that I finish my first semester with top marks in all subjects except the first, where I just couldn't be bothered to take the 'extra credits' paper; and it puts me in the top 10% of the class. What especially pleases me is the fact that in the two psychology sub-courses, I scored 92% on the written exam and received top marks for my research paper. As it is psychology that I want to be working with later, this gives me a good boost and can be interpreted as yet another way marker that I am moving in the right direction. It would have been a tough call if I had given up all that I have to work further in the field of psychology, only to find that I suck at it!

And why am I telling you all this? Well, firstly because I am really pleased with myself. It was a tough decision to leave a career, a job and an income behind and go back to university again. It was a lot of hard work last year to get the qualifications in Swedish to enable me to study at university here and it has been a tough challenge to study new subjects at university level in another language. And now, at the end of the first semester, I have not only passed, I have actually managed to get top marks and that makes me feel proud of myself.

The second reason why I am telling you all of this is because no one ever does. We all need a pat on the shoulder occasionally, we all need recognition and confirmation as individuals, but it happens all too rarely. When is the last time that you, dear readers, complimented a friend, a work colleague or a stranger? We all know how good it feels on the rare occasions when we get a positive remark and what a difference it can make to our day, but how often do we actually do it to others? We also learn that to 'boast' of our abilities is a bad thing and best be avoided if you don't want others to think of you as big headed. So then you end-up hiding your gifts and almost being ashamed of them. Everyone has different gifts; some our gifted academically, others in the field of sports or carpentry or flower arranging; that is what makes the world interesting and what makes it a challenge to find your vocation, but why can't we let others know when we have 'done good' without it being negative? Obviously there is a difference between saying that I am proud of something that I have done, and actually pushing it in your face, but all too often we don't even say that.

If you are reading this post today, I would like it if you could stop by the comments box and just let me and the other readers know one thing that you are proud of that you have done, or one thing that you are good at. Go on, shout it out and then this evening, look at yourself in the mirror and say: 'I am proud of myself because...' or 'I am good at...' and feel good about yourself. That's got to be a good way to start a Friday evening ;-)

Zeitgeist

2005-06-15T09:59:00.000+02:00

I would just like to devote a little of my blog space to the outcome of the Michael Jackson trial as a commentary about the society that we live in today.

What do you think, dear readers? Is he truly innocent? Was he guilty? Do we even give a damn? I certainly looked at the fans in tears outside the courtroom and found myself thinking 'Get a grip!' and 'Haven't you got anything better to do?' Yet today's media is all encompassing and there is almost no way to escape it, except living in a log cabin somewhere. It draws you in, it makes you care or at least, like I am doing today, you feel you have to comment on some of the issues that it brings up.

But back to Mr. Jackson briefly... A few of the questions that flitted through my head as I read the closing case were... Is he a dirty little man with a penchant for little boys or simply an easy target for a story hungry media? Is he maybe a misunderstood loner whose closeness and delight in the company of children is an attempt to recapture his own childhood? What do we think about a justice system with an in-built Catch 22, whereby the best chance of 'getting off' involves paying for an experienced legal team, charging up to $500 per person, per hour, and is thereby only a resource for the wealthy. (They estimate that Michael Jackson's legal bill will top $5 million) So your average Joe Bloggs can't afford the legal expertise and it follows that if the state is prosecuting (their legal bill is estimated to top $2,1 million) he has a far greater chance of ending-up picking up soap bars in the shower.

But the other thought that came to mind is that maybe Mr. Jackson is also caught-up in a wider and more troubling trend that for me should be shaking the foundations of our society. With sensational trials coming from the States, UK and Belgium we live in a time where parents are afraid to even let their children come out and play out of fear that some twisted individual will harm them. I was at my old school last week and drove past one of the roads that used to form a run that we called 'The Triangle'. We were sent on that run during sports or early in the morning as a form of punishment. I found out that the run is no longer used as it is outside the school boundary and the school doesn't want to be liable for what could happen! This fear is so all pervasive that in some ways, it touches all men (because unfortunately in 99.99% of cases it is men who are the twisted individuals committing these heinous crimes).

Let us start with the simple statement that I am a 30 year old man; I like children and children like me. Now already for quite a few people, that simple statement has started to make connections, even if only on a humorous level, with something more sinister. Then let's take is a step further... when I am in a supermarket and see a little kid running around, I stop, smile and wave to them. Often the mother will look at me or call the child back, but that isn't the case if my wife does the same thing. So already, because I like kids and think it is fun to make them smile, I am met with a kind of suspicion. Now another question: How many of you reading this would rather have a female babysitter instead of a male babysitter? The sad part about it is that I would also rather have a female babysitter and that is truly a sad reflection of the society we are living in today.

We are afraid to let men near children and as a result, men are losing their naturalness around children and their skills as fathers. We are afraid to let our children run around outside, get fresh air and play in case they are taken away from us. We are afraid to let our children sit inside, in case they get approached by an online paedophile in an internet chat room and worse of all, instead of the mass outcry that should meet these limitation on ours and our children's freedom, we are almost quietly accepting it as a fact of life today, and that, surely, has to be wrong?

And tense... and relax

2005-06-15T09:12:00.000+02:00

I have just got back from my physiotherapist's appointment for my knee and my ankle as I have managed to injure them both during the last three months and want to help them recover both their strength and flexibility. After a lengthy consultation, she gave me a set of exercises to do at home and sent me on my way.

I have just started to do the exercises she set me and Oh my God! they are tough. I am in pretty good shape at the moment, but these exercises work all of the small muscles that you don't normally concentrate on and after just a few minutes, I am sweating and my legs are shaking with the effort. If I do this everyday like I am supposed to, I am going to end-up looking like Popeye!

A sense of belonging

2005-06-14T07:22:00.000+02:00

I was watching a programme on TV in UK the other day about a famous local (Norfolk) artist. He had left London sometime during the 60's / 70's because he had tired of all the pretensiousness and wanted to get back to his roots in Norfolk (the county where I come from). He was talking about what made Norfolk special for him and I was thinking about the fact that what makes artists different from non-artists is that they 'see' the world and things around them in a different way. He was describing the way he 'saw' Norfolk, the landscape, the coast, the estuaries, the river banks and the big sky. A lot of artists want to paint in Norfolk as the sky is so full of expression and nuances. At one of my favourite beaches, Holkam, I often sit in the tree line that leads onto the beach and look at the vast expanse of sand, that blends into the sea and the sky. In the right light, the coulours are almost indistinguishable, and there is a fine nuance between the sand, the sea and the sky.
The day after I had seen the programme, we were driving around and I was seeing the countryside with new eyes. I felt a deep sense of connection and of peace, looking at the fields and the hedgerows, driving down the small lanes and along the varying coastline and the small and charming coastal villages. We stopped in a village called Salthouse and went to a local 'restaurant' run out of a guy's shed in the back of his garden. There we ate a huge plate of tiger prawns, crayfish, crab and three different kinds of smoked fish. After lunch we went onto the pub, which looks out over a beautiful expanse of marshland, before ending at high shingle banks which lead onto a pebbled beach and the sea.
I sat in that pub garden, drinking a beautiful pint (or two) of beer and just looking out over this wonderful scene and I truly felt at peace. It was almost as if time had slowed down, and with no-where in particular to go, I was able to spend several hours just sitting there and relaxing... and it was while I was doing that, that I suddenly realised that this was in my blood. This is what I miss whilst I am living in Sweden. It is something that is important for me and something that I need to keep coming back to. It reminds me of a piece of writing that Dom found in a Time Magazine and I gave to me when we were in Zimbabwe. When I read it again yesterday, it suddenly all made sense to me...

It went something like this: 'To all things there is a centre. Sometimes it is easy to recognise the paths which lead to it. The centre is a stable base, the perimeter is always in motion. Only at the centre can one find the energy to recharge, for the centre is also the point from which to set out. These meadows had put an end to my flight. They had brought back a surge of memory. I had decided to stay here. My name was Paul...'

Don’t drink & dry

2005-06-08T15:36:00.000+02:00

Hoe hoe hoe…(sorry, but have never exposed myself publicly before and would like to see my name as much as possible)

First of all may I offer my apologies to you all for not having posted anything after Paul’s introduction: so much for being a bestestest mate. In a phone call last night he gave me quite a guilt trip for not keeping his vast population of eager followers entertained, informed & enlightened…so sorry to both of you.

He also gave me a cracking hangover this morning…from all the way from the UK to the UAE: quite some feat:

Whilst on the phone he was having a normal quaff of wine, so as a “sociable drinker” I reached for the nearest bottle…a bottle of port …

I can now pass on to you all, that living in Dubai in June (100 degree heat, humidity & air-con running all night) is the best method I’ve found to date of keeping dehydration levels at a painful level the next morning.

So I do feel I have received my just deserts, and the guilt is fading into a hazy past…

Anyway, I should now enter something wise, witty & wordy…but nothing’s come to mind as yet. So I’ll leave you all safe in the knowledge that the phrase “never again”, to which so many of us are old friends, has once more sneaked up on another unsuspecting victim.

Happy abstinence I wish you all from Dubai (which today I feel should be dry).

Introducing my guest author...

2005-06-03T12:26:00.000+02:00

James
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Dear readers, I have just completed my last paper for the semester and sent it in to my lecturer and this cat will shortly be leaving the building...

Early tomorrow morning, Ellie and I will fly to UK for the week to celebrate my Mum's 60th birthday with her, the family and friends and to catch-up with everyone over there.

In my absence though, I will not be leaving my blog to gather dust and collect cobwebs. No siree! As you are aware from my utter desolation when they took Scrubs off the TV without warning me, I know how hard it is to suddenly lose something you love, I can sympathise and I have a plan...

I have asked my best friend (yes, you can still have a bestest friend at 30) James, who is currently working in Dubai to step in and guest author my blog for the week and he is prepared to step-up to the challenge.

James and I have known one another for 11 years now, meeting as we both started university at the same time and on the same course. James immediately saw that I drank like a fairy and knew I wouldn't survive long up-North in England if I didn't learn to drink like a coal-miner, so he took charge and over 4 years taught me how to drink a proper beer. James saved my sanity more than once whilst we were working in Germany, performed brilliantly as my Best Man and has been the best friend that one could wish for.

Ladies and Gentlemen, all the way from Dubai, I give you James Hoe...

Happy 60th Birthday, Mum

2005-06-02T07:00:00.000+02:00

cake
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Winging its way straight from Sweden, despite a 1 hours time difference is a massive HAPPY 60TH BIRTHDAY to my Mum. She will probably be pissed at me for revealing to all of my 5 readers how old she is, but I wouldn't be the dutiful son that I am if I didn't pay her the appropriate tribute on this special day and anyway, since she isn’t connected to the net at the moment, she won’t be able to read what I write ;-)

My Mum is a wonderful person. She has been through a tough old time the last few years, but has come through it strong. She made me proud by getting accepted onto the prestigious Counselling course at the University of East Anglia and made me jealous by getting the opportunity to study under Professor Brian Thorne. She then made me extra proud by completing the challenges and graduating the course. Since then she has been able to use her own compassion and empathy to work on the front line, helping victims of domestic violence.

Mum has always been there for my brother and I, encouraging us to find our own paths and supporting us, whatever we chose and challenging us to do what is necessary to grow as people and achieve all that we can be. That’s a definition of love, when you can take something as precious as your own children and teach them how to fly, even if it means that they will fly away from you one day.

On the marriage side of things, I also have a lot to thank my Mum for. She made sure I was self-sufficient, that I could cook, iron, dust and clean, that I would take my share of the household chores (ok, she didn't entirely succeed when it comes to me piling things about the house, but 4 out of 5 isn't bad!) She also made sure that I was well brought-up and had manners in a world that is gradually losing theirs.

As I grow older, I realise how many aspects of my character and personality and my innate skills come from my Mum and how much I am glad for them. It is no small tribute to her, that in realising what I want to be, in realising where I can best be of service, I will be honouring and using many of the talents that I have inherited from her, and following, in more ways than one, in her footsteps.

I love you Mum & Happy Birthday!

I may have given-up cigarettes, but baby, I'm still smokin'

2005-05-31T21:48:00.000+02:00

no-smoking
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

From midnight tonight, all bars and cafés in Sweden will become smoke free and that is a good thing. I am not one of these radical health-freak anti-smoking lobbyists but I will be glad to eat and enjoy my food without someone blowing smoke on my plate. I will be glad to escape the negative effects of passive smoking, where my only choice up until now has been 'like it or leave' and I will be glad to come home from a night out and not smell like an ashtray. I guess what I like most is having my choices back. Instead of having to accept smoking as the status quo, the balance has been redressed and maybe, just maybe, this bold move might help a few more people to give up, especially as they are freezing their asses off outside during winter!

But thinking about it on a wider scale, it represents a pretty giant leap for society, kind of a 'if you show me where to put my pole, then I will move the world.' I mean that look back to the eighties, for instance, it seemed as if everyone was smoking, smoking was the new black and you brought shares in tobacco companies as a fast track way to your first Porsche. But slowly but surely as society has been footing the mounting health bill and research has proven than smoke is negative to both smokers and passive smokers, be they adults, children or babies, things have been changing. More people than before have been able to 'kick the habit' and are feeling much better for it, then it was banned on airlines and now it has finally been banned in cafés and bars. That's not a step, that's a giant leap. (Good luck trying to do it in Paris though...)

Yesterday, Monday 30th May was a bad, bad day

2005-05-31T08:00:00.000+02:00

It was an inevitability, but I didn't get any warning, I didn't get any time to mentally prepare myself. I just sat down yesterday, as usual at 18:00 and BANG! there it was, Scrubs will be taking a break for a while and has been replaced by Sex in the city.

Every once in a while, I obsess totally about a TV series and it can have serious consequences. The last TV series I obsessed about was Ed and when, mid series, they took it off TV quite unexpectedly, I vowed not to watch TV again until it was back on. Because I didn't have a TV paper, I abstained from TV for almost a year, until I discovered that it was on again, just at a different time and on a different channel!

But this is different. This time with Scrubs, it is personal. They didn't tell me damn it. I feel as if I have lost a good friend. My evenings, when I am not at swimming, begin with 30 minutes of pure silence as I enjoy Scrubs, Ellie knows not to talk and my friends know not to ring me (not that they ever do anyway) and on Sunday, there is a double bill from 20:30-21:30... and now, suddenly, I am left with silence. The TV set is black once again and our living room is somehow colder and I am left to stare soulfully at the scrubs website: http://www.scrubs-tv.com/ and wait like a sick puppy...

***************
NEWSFLASH !!!
***************

NBC have anounced that there will be a 5th season of Scrubs and I have just found out that I can purchase the entire first season from Amazon! There will be TV for me afterall.

It would seem that one good thing follows another. By missing Scrubs, I was forced to channel flick to curb my fristration by criticising all the other crap that is on TV, but I came across one of the most surreal animations I have seen since Katja-Kaj, Bengte-Bengt and their moose of roller-skates searched a whole city to find the old lady who dropped her zucchini in the supermarket. The series is on MTV and is called Weebl and Bob. This is there website http://www.weebl.jolt.co.uk/ ... click on the Episodes menu on the right hand side of the site and get ready to spit out your beer and popcorn! ... unless you have no humour, in which case use this as a test to find out.

Mañana, mañana, oh shit, it's Monday!

2005-05-30T08:34:00.000+02:00

I am almost glad that there is less sunshine today, than over the weekend and that the forecast for the next few days is slightly colder and some rain. The problem is that I have one week left of the university term and a lot to do (group presentation, two seminars and a paper to write) but the moment I go out in the sun, all sense of discipline melts away and I find myself just saying, 'Mañana, mañana' and reaching for the gin'n'tonic.

It is now Monday morning and I don't have too many mañana's left before it all has to be done! So, véale mañana good people, I have to bust my chops and get working!

p.s. Welcome back today Dom, I hope that you had a great holiday and that the first day back isn't too evil.

Hell yeah, it's FRIDAY!!!

2005-05-27T08:00:00.000+02:00

I love these random question things, this is another one I have borrowed/stolen from Dom. Reading them on other people's blogs gives you an interesting insight into them and their reality and it also saves me having to think too hard about something to write for y'all today. Have a great weekend...

01. Take the book that is closest to you, open it in page 18, what does line 4 says?
Styrbjörn (it is a book of Swedish baby names)

02. Extend your left arm all you can. What’s the first thing you can touch?
The teddy bear I have had since I was born that now chills-out all day on our sofa

03. What was the last thing you watched on TV?
Scrubs (my current 'can't live without' TV series)

04. Without looking, try to guess what time it is.
08:45

05. Now look at the clock, what time is it?
actually 08:47 so I guess that means I am really in synch with nature ;-)

06. Besides your computer, what can you hear?
The hushed sound of anticipation as Friday 27th May waits for me, Paul Noble, to stop writing my blog and get my shit together!

07. When was the last time you walked on the street?
Yesterday evening

08. Before coming to this page, what site were you visiting?
Dom's blog (http://domsjourney.blogspot.com/)

09. What are you wearing?
Red polo shirt, blue jeans, currently barefoot

10. Did you dream last night?
Really don't remember. Slept well though

11. When was the last time you laughed?
Yesterday evening whilst out with Ellie and her Grandmother

12. What’s on the walls on the room where you are?
Two beautiful paintings by the artist Helena Bergenrud, an enlarged photo from our wedding and two framed 'natural feeling' photo montages from IKEA.

13. Have you seen something weird lately?
Yeah, when I went into a local supermarket the other day, there was a Grannie in a pink jogging suit on her way out. I just needed milk, so I picked it up and quickly went to the checkout, only to find that the same Grannie was infront of me, somehow, with loads of shopping on the checkout belt. How did she do that?

14. What do you think of this test?
Random questions give a surprising insight into different people's universes!

15. What was the last movie you saw?
American Pie: The Wedding

16. If you became a multi-millionaire tonight, what would you buy first?
Something pretty impressive for my Mum's 60th birthday, which is next week!

17. Tell me something I don’t know about you. Be sincere:
I am a published poet.

18. If you could change something in the world, that wasn’t politics related, what would it be?
I would like to re-introduce politeness, manners and respect for your fellow human being.

19. Do you like to dance?
No, I feel that my arms and legs are controlled by a puppet-master who is tripping on some pretty wacked-out shit!

20. George Bush:
Is this the world we created?

21.a. Imagine your first kid its a girl. What would you name her?
Amelie or Annabell

21.b. Imagine your first kid its a boy. What would you name him?
This is currently giving us problems, hence my answer to question number 1.

22. Have you ever thought of migrating to another country?
Yes, been there, done that and haven't got home yet :-)

23. What language would you like to learn how to speak fluently?
Swedish would be a good start!

24. Name the top 3 TV shows you like the most right now:
Scrubs
Scrubs
... and you guessed it, Scrubs. My life is simple, TV from 18:00-18:30 then I'm happy for the evening.

25. Say something profound:
Each and every one of you reading this has the power to change anything you want in your life this very moment!

Go Barbie! Go Barbie!

2005-05-26T08:37:00.000+02:00

Yesterday, Ellie and I decided to get it over and done with and attend Försäkringkassans course on maternity/paternity leave & benefits. Not the most interesting way to spend an hour of your Wednesday evening, but nevertheless, something that needed to be done as the 'bump' keeps getting bigger.

Anyway, the course was meant to run from 16:30-17:30 and so we were waiting outside at 16:20 with about 20 other couples, most of which contained heavily pregnant ladies. 16:30 came and went and no-one opened the door to let us in. Finally at 16:45 some poor lady opened the door to inform us that the two ladies who ran the course (at the same time every week) had forgotton about it and had gone home! So we should all go home and come back again next week! - Not a good move with 20 heavily pregnant and hormonally charged women who had been standing around getting more and more frustrated. I heard everyone draw a deep breath, their hands went to their hips and then, as one group, they attacked.

It was a bit like throwing a hamburger into a bus of hungry Americans and needless to say, even though the poor woman who opened the door was a specialist in housing benefits (bostadsbidrag) she had to let us in, find the right information and give us a 45 minute presentation on family benefits! - Talk about a shitty day!

Music et al

2005-05-25T10:28:00.000+02:00

Got tagged by my friend Dom (see: http://domsjourney.blogspot.com/) to complete the questions and give an insight into my strange music tastes, so here goes...

Total volume of music files on my computer?
on this mac... 4.77 gb (feels pathetically inadequate compared to Dom's gargantuan 18.92 gb, but then again, I'm pretty confident as a man!)

The last CD I bought was:
Snoop Doggy Dog's: Rythmn'n'Gangsta

Song playing right now:
Listening to a podcast, a philosophical discussion on 'What is beauty' from the BBC!

Five songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me(in no particular order):
These are what I'm listening to at the moment:

- Be Like That - 3 Doors Down - like the tone of the song and like the lyrics
- Stella Del Mattino - Ludovico Einaudi - piano music that reaches places that other music can't
- Touch Me - DJ Tiesto - part of the thumping music on my ipod that helps me cycle the 5km to university in 12 minutes (when I am running late, which is like always!)
- Swords - Leftfield - love the lyrics, sort of a Zen-dance track
- The closest thing to crazy - Katie Melua- Refreshing to find an artist who can actually sing

Which 5 people are you passing this baton to, and why?
Since Dom has already done this, I have no-one in the blogging universe to pass the baton to. I guess my time is better spent rapidly leaving comments on everyone else's blogs to drum-up some interest!

Helping strangers

2005-05-25T09:48:00.000+02:00

I was on my way back from a job interview yesterday afternoon when I saw a guy at a crossroads trying to push his broken-down car on his own. The other people in the traffic were just getting pissed at him, honking horns and making impatient hand-gestures as, because of him they would arrive wherever they were going all of 30 seconds later.

I pulled my bike over, crossed the road and helped him push his car across the junction and up a hill into a garage. He was both surprised and very grateful for the help, but that isn't the point. Ask yourself this... would you have stopped or just cycled on by?

After grading

2005-05-24T08:43:00.001+02:00

Two new orange belts after a hard morning's work!
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

The boys

2005-05-24T08:43:00.000+02:00

The boys & Anna
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Paul - Kamae

2005-05-24T08:42:00.000+02:00

Paul preparing to 'get in the ring'
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Fight club

2005-05-24T08:39:00.000+02:00

Helped by the enormous pasta carbonara that Andreas and I made on Saturday, I am happy to announce that on Sunday, I was awarded my orange belt in Ju-jutsu, after what was a tough 1.5 hours of grading. In a hot and stuffy dojo, two of the boys almost fainted and techniques kept slipping in the contact of sweat on sweat as our instructors urged us to increase the pace to make both attack and defence as realistic as possible.

The result was a fast and tough grading, with credit going to Anna, our instructor and to the hard work we all put in, as we all passed without comment, which is unusual. It is nice as it is a good bunch of boys that I train with, and this means that we all advance to orange belt together, which is both a good thing for us and a good thing for the club.

Photos above are of me in my scary fighting stance, Thomas (my grading partner and me) looking a little tired after grading and the happy boys and Anna, at the end of a hard morning’s work.

Carpe Diem!

2005-05-22T09:21:00.000+02:00

Fisherman's tale
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

Today was a fantastic guy's day for me. I woke-up feeling well rested and had a leisurely breakfast with Ellie. I then met my friend Andreas and spent the afternoon out by the sea, fishing for Horngädda and, as is rare for me, I actually caught six fish of varying sizes. We then tried in vain to wash the smell of fish off us, then it was time to go to the cinema to watch Star Wars Episode 3 : Revenge of the Sith. After the movie, we came back home to me and made a huge pasta carbonara, so that I can load-up on carbohydrates ready for tomorrow's ju-jutsu grading, then we watched American Pie 3, before calling it quits for the day. Now that's how a Saturday should be!

broken bone

2005-05-20T16:35:00.000+02:00

broken bone
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

I was rushing to get ready for university, as usual, yesterday and in the rush, dropped the Maori carving that I wear around my neck and it landed badly and broke in two places.

Ellie brought the carving for me one year ago. The Maori believe that the carvings have a significance based on their design and that in the working of the bone, the carver imparts some of his or her spirit into it. The wearer then recieves the ivory white bone and as it absorbs their natural oils, it turns a beautiful honey colour, both imparting the spirit of the carving into the soul of the wearer and absorbing some of the wearer's spirit into the carving.

The carving I had was a one off, commissioned by a talented artist called Lilach Paul, and purchased through a lovely place called The Bone Art Place. The carving was called 'The Union' and represents an insight into the bigger picture, strength and protection.

I am a spiritual person and truly believe in the significance behind the carving according to the Maori traditions and the carvings significance for me. Since having the carving I have a desire to be a better person, I have changed my direction and found my purpose, things go well for me and I feel better within myself than I have for a long time.

Needless to say, when the carving broke yesterday, I was gutted and took it to be a bad omen. I got in touch with The Bone Art Place straight away, and Don, the owner, assured me that the Maori people believe that when a carving breaks, it is the meaning that the spirit inside has moved on to join the ansestors. Ellie also felt that there may be meaning with it, as I am nearing my 30th birthday and she is pregnant and maybe a new carving, given to me by both her and the baby, may provide me with what I need to move into the next stage of my life.

Anyway, my good news is that it may be possible, if Lilach wants to, that she can carve me a new carving, incorporating the centrepiece of my old carving, bringing both the spirit of the old carving and some of the new carving. The possibility made my day.

May-wine

2005-05-18T11:08:00.000+02:00

May-wine
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

May's wine recommendations

Better late than never... wine recommendations for May. Staying loyal to my tradition of making sure that my cellar is well stocked with South African wines, I purchased two bottles of Allesverloren's Tinto Barocca 2004 for the cellar this month. This promises to be a fantastic wine, to be eaten with meatier dishes, which comes into its own during this year and improves up to 2008.

My second purchase (to kind of make-up for my lack of purchases during the last few months and to help me keep fulfilling my New Year's resultion to take care of my wine cellar!) were 4 bottles of DÃo's Primavera Reserva 2003. 4 bottles on a student's income?? I hear you asking. Yes, the great thing about this wine is that is received 5 stars from Anders Rottorp, (the winer critic whose taste best aligns with my own) will be at its best between 2005-2008 and only cost sek 54 or £4 a bottle. I shall have a bottle out next year, two in 2007 and the last in 2008 to see whether it improves with age!

Happy drinking...

Back on the air

2005-05-18T09:47:00.000+02:00

OK, the most inconsistent blogger is back on the air. No real excuse for not blogging recently, just been immersed in school work, still it seems to be paying off as I just scored 92% on my pschology exam. Anyway, as a way of warming myself back into blogging, I have filled out this fun little questionaire that I stole from Dom's site.

1.First name: Paul
2. Were you named after anyone? Don't think so
3. Do you wish on stars? No, I reley on myself to make my wishes come true
4. When did you last cry? When I received the plumbers bill for installation of three new radiators at home.
5. Do you like your handwriting? Yes
6. What is your favorite lunch meat? My Mum’s lamb roast
7.What is your birth date? 03/07/1975
8.What is your most embarrassing CD? A Gift of Love featuring Deepak Chopra and friends performing Rumi’s poetry to music.
9.If you where another person would YOU be friends with you? Yes, if the ’me as someone else’ is playing their sociable role.
10. Do you have a journal? Yes, keep meaning to write more in it… more time, more time…
11. Do you use sarcasm alot? Yeah, right…
12. What are your nicknames? None that I know of
13.Would you ever bungee jump? No. Don't do heights
14.Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? Yes, unless I am drunk and the knot is tricky, then I leave them until the next morning.
15. Do you think that you are strong? Compared to whom? Not compared to some of the saskwatches I train with at ju-jutsu. Note to self, must get every muscle tight, starts tomorrow.
16.What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Clotted cream vanilla
17.Red or Pink? Red
18.What is your least favorite thing about yourself? Bitten nails currently
19.What do you miss most? Brian Pickerings sausages
20.What color pants and shoes are you wearing right now? Dark blue pants, no shoes (working from home, currently in surf-dude mode)
21.What are you listening to right now? The lonesome electric chicken clucking on my desktop.
22.Last thing you ate? Three different types of vegetarian curry
23. If you where a crayone what color would you be? Yellow
24. What is the weather like right now? overcast with breaking sun.
25.Last person you talked to on the phone? The plumber (see question 4)
26.The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Breasts (just being honest)
27. Do you like the person that sent this to you? Yes, Dominic is my kind of guy.
28.Favorite drink? Red wine, shiraz, cabernet-shiraz or pinotage
29.Favorite sport? Ju-jutsu
30. hair color? Brown
31. Eye color? Blue
32.Do you wear contacts? Nope, 20/20 vision at the moment
33.Favorite food? rocket salad with ripe cherry tomatoes, feta cheese and pine-nuts, with a lemon olive oil, balsamic vinegar and honey dressing, accompanied by freshly baked brown-bread with olives in it.
34.Last movie you watched? Tomb Raider (it was late, I was bored, and Angelina just beckoned to me from the DVD box)
35.Favorite day of the year? Any day that is warm enough to wear a t-shirt
36.Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings
37.Summer or winter? Summer
38.Hugs or kisses? Kisses
39.What is your favorite dessert? Créme Brulee
40.Living arrangements? I live in a house with my wife.
41.What books are you reading? The Carl Roger’s Reader; Interaktionistisk Förändringsarbete, Familjterapins Grunder and Reflekterande Processer
42.What on your mouse pad? Don't have one, work of my beloved Power Book
43.What did you watch last night on t.v.? Was out drinking beer with friends
44.Favorite smells? Freshly opened bag of coffee, certain perfumes and a warm dawn in Kenya
45.Favorite sounds? sea
46.Rolling Stones or Beatles? Neither
47.Whats the furthest youve been from home? Australia
48.Do you have a special talent? Seeing into people. High pain threshold. Great with children.

And doesn't time just fly?

2005-04-21T22:20:00.000+02:00

Tenerife - Flower
Originally uploaded by Bat21.

After almost a months absence, here I am again. No, unfortunately that month wasn't spent in the warm climes of Tenerife, just a week, and then back to reality and the psychology course at university.

The holiday in Tenerife was in many ways just what was needed. If there are any people from Tenerife reading this, don't get insulted, but what was wonderful about the holiday is that apart from hotels, shopping centres, sand, rocks and cacti, there was nothing really to see on the island. The result is that, completely guilt free you can lie by the pool in the sun all day without the feeling that you are missing some cultural 'must see'. In short, I relaxed, I got brown and I read a lot of books!

At university we are currently in the middle of our psychology course and I am enjoying it. We joke in my family about when you are busy that you are at least 'keeping out of mischief' and that is exactly what is happening here. We have a lot of material to read and are effectively trying to get a base understanding of psychoanalysis, attachment and affect theory, humanistic psychology, cognitive and behavioural psychology within 5 weeks! The exam is next week, a 4-hour essay paper and it feels as if my life is a well-oiled routing of get-up, go to university, attend a lecture, read in the library, go to work (if it's a monday or tuesday) then go home, eat and go to bed. I am finding the course material really interesting and it is good to get a re-confirmation that this area is what I burn for and I look forward to working with it in the future.

The other good piece of news is that I got top grades in my last course and (not to blow my own trumpet here too much) I belong to the top 10% of my year group!

Well, life goes on otherwise pretty much as normal for me. I twisted my ankle at a Barbie party for 8 year old girls at the weekend (don't ask), I have started riding to school with my ipod thumping Groove Armada's 'I can see you baby, shaking that ass' (don't tell Ellie) and I am in the middle of madly applying for summer jobs.

Never a dull momen...

Oh, as for the photo, I particularly like the flower, it always reminds me of warm places. Ellie laughs each time we return from trips because somehow and from somewhere I have developed a fetish for photographing flowers!